On Mindfulness

  • When I feel fear, anger, resentment or any other so called “negative” feeling I will do anything to escape these feelings. I will immediately manage them with thinking, telling stories about them, sometimes even blaming others or acting violently and automatically to avoid them. I will do anything not to feel them.

    Somewhere in my past I was taught to suppress and control my feelings; maybe it was useful and necessary then. But I learned it so well that it blocked me and removed me from being in the here. It has put me on a racecourse between the past and the future. It stopped me from experiencing and appreciating the present moment. (Because these unwanted feelings were in the here, present inside me.)

    Mindfulness is a remedy for that. It takes me back to the present and allows me to feel and to live my own, unique and rare life. It removes the fear of experiencing difficult, uncomfortable feelings. It creates safe space to approach these feelings. And when I can do it in meditation I allow them to move through my body, to find a right form, reconcile and become an integrated part of my human-beingness. I allow defensive energy of these feelings to become a creative force of my life. That’s why I love meditation.