Costa Women Blogs

As usual at this time of the year, we are all full of plans, goals and dreams about what the coming year will bring.  I meet a lot of people who feel as if they’re adrift in the world.  They work hard, but they don’t seem to get anywhere worthwhile. A key reason that they feel this way is that they haven’t spent enough time thinking about what they want from life, and haven’t set themselves formal goals. After all, would you set out on a major journey with no real idea of your destination? Probably not! Years ago, after a friend had suggested to me that I make a vision board, I thanked her and promptly forgot about it.  A few months later, standing in my kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, I absently looked over the fridge door.  A large array of family photos, drawings and magnets covered the surface.  Actually it was a bit of a mess so I started to remove some stuff.  What I found quite shocked me.  Magazine photos of tables, lamps, and other assorted ‘wants’ were buried underneath this mess that were now dotted around my home, I wanted them of course but in an abstract way so to see that I had unwittingly made a ‘vision board’ was quite a jolt. If I could do this in a few short months what could I do if I really put some effort and focus into it?Without telling you my life story, I can say without doubt that it was a key resource that I now use regularly.   Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life.  By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You’ll also quickly spot the distractions that can, so easily, lead you astray. I use these planners with a lot of my clients as they journey towards their goals in business and life, as well as working to fine tune the focus.  I’m a great fan of bright and creative planners but a simple journal works just as well. So, give it a go, see how you get on and happy future to you. bit.ly/1SH4hCe

Meditation is about being present. It sounds very simple. But there is a part of me which doesn’t like what is in the present. The critical/thinking mind is never satisfied with what’s here. It wants: more, better, different; it always has a wish of improving, changing and going to what was in the past or reaching for what can be in the future. Luckily the critical mind is not all me. It is only an aspect of me, actually a programme which has to explain in words and language what is happening in my life; it is like a graphomaniac film critique whose task is to rate and review films and most of the time the verdict is: “not good enough”. If I am able to turn my attention away from that critical mind I can easily get into space of meditation, into the here and now. The thinking mind is spoilt. I was trained to trust it and admire it. I was told that I don’t exist if I don’t think. The truth is that it stops existing when I don’t pay any attention to it.  And it got so much used to a role of an authoritarian ruler that it will not surrender easily. It uses any trick to stay in this false position of power.   So I retrain my ability to heed. I start by directing my attention towards sensing impulses and sensations in my body. I detach from thinking. This shift is essential: no verbalizing, no telling stories or judging; only feeling. My attention is as close to my body as possible, I turn it inside. I am safe in the here and now. I meditate and I find peace in the present.

IAM left wondering why I feel so targeted and unwelcome in a particular Environment, so as usual I retreat and take some quiet me-time to feel into this feeling. The feeling goes very deep but I can’t seem to grasp anything and instead of becoming one with the feeling I choose to go against all my knowingness and go outside of myself to try and find an answer. I know this won’t help, in fact I know it makes my feeling worse and attracts more similar situations to me. I see enemies all around me and an array of doubts and negative emotions pouring out of me… Unworthiness Jealousy, Ugliness, Shame, Guilt, Anger… you name it, IAM feeling it. I become very anxious and search around for information about why I allow other people to trigger me and how I can get rid of these unwelcome emotions and doubts. I find nothing to comfort me and only manage to feel worse… and then I decide to give up and wallow in my miserable feeling of failure that is topped off with a thick layer of guilt, because I know better… for goodness sake I’ve just published a book about being free of all this unconscious living. In our Human dual reality we are always acting out our own story based on our perception and desire in life and in order to help each other achieve and experience this, we attract each other to come and play with us… in the hope to find love and happiness. I find it hard to believe IAM still playing the game… especially unconsciously… So what was going on? Was there still a part of me that felt unloved or was I just feeling another person’s feeling of being unloved? So where do I draw the line between my story and the other persons, where do I separate the two? And within this question, lay my answer. I know very well there is indeed no separation and as Divine beings of pure love we play the different roles in order to honour and love another unconditionally. Being in the presence of others, no matter what the situation, I can choose in each moment to either be affected or not affected because I have that much power. I can choose in each moment to either reflect the love that IAM or the failure IAM. As a Master Creator, I have obviously been ‘testing myself’ that I clearly understand my new role and how I have a conscious choice in how I want to live my life; no matter how others want to play and tease me and I can allow my light to shine on any darkness that is ready to be released from within myself and my fellow sisters and brothers. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year… and remember, you always have a choice too. Barbara FrankenInspiring New Energy Consciousness   ‘There are many books that discuss one author’s road to Enlightenment. But readers want to join the party and experience it for themselves. This book straddles both worlds. While personal, it also expands the topic and makes it interesting, intriguing and achievable.’ Linda A. Lavid, award-winning author. ‘ALLOW my DivineHuman story to resonate with your heart an soul, and transcend you beyond religion, science and spirituality into the depths of your own Magnificent Consciousness; the timeless and sacred space of infinite potential.’ Barbara Franken, DivineHuman Master Creator Available from Amazon

In 2015, Costa Women celebrated our 5th year. We were excited to welcome the arrival of 1027 new members to our community of 4382 Women across Spain (or Women looking to relocate here). It was a busy and exciting year and here’s why:- We featured 30 members were interviewed via Youtube videos with host Fiona Catchpowle. In 2016, it could be YOU! If you want to tell us about your business, charity, hobby, or project, let me know by emailing costawomen@gmail.com You Met Up Thanks to our lovely group of volunteers, we started Costa Women meet ups in NEW locations:- Almeria – thanks Elle Draper and Jacqui Malpass Barcelona – thanks Nadine Astorga Benalmadena/Torremolinos – thanks Mum and Daughter team Nicola and Kerry Sidhu Costa Tropical – thanks Deborah Johnson Valencia – thanks JS Kaiser Costa Blanca South – thanks Sandra Piddock Costa Women Guadalhorce – thanks Pat Jay These new groups have extended our reach to 16 locations in total. If you want to meet other Women in your area, join the groups on the website and Facebook too. Check out where we meet up – Find a Meet Up in your area We are looking for more volunteer hosts to start meet ups in other parts of Spain. Contact me via costawomen@gmail.com. It can be as simple as arranging a coffee morning, or glass of cava at a local bar in your area. In total Costa Women hosted 127 (66% more than last year) events and you created and hosted 510 events. Our biggest event was International Women’s Day when we were proud to collaborate with Jackie Groundsell of 1230 The Women’s Company and were joined by 90+ women at Andalucia Lab in Marbella. Read all about it – ‘The Stand Out Lesson from Top Professionals’ (thanks Dorothy Dalton). Keep 11th March in your diary for 2016! On the website YOU shared 183 Blogs about life in Spain and your thoughts and ideas 324 jobs and requests for work Told us your story via 603 introductions Created 190 classified posts Created and joined one of our 100 interest groups for hobbies, ideas, projects, business, plus writing, photography and reading clubs, online groups for locations across Spain, and groups in different languages. Project Focussed We also got involved in projects:- Took part for the second year running in the 5 x 50 challenge – www.5×50.org (thanks Fran Rajewski) Launched a Fabulous February Carnival where you enjoyed downloads, offers and discounts from various Costa Women Members Set up Action August during which you launched 2 new businesses Collaborated with The Mumpreneurs Networking Club and Inspiring Global Entrepreneurs as part of Global Entrepreneur’s Week and distributed 9 videos for you to watch and get some tools and tips for your business and life. Thanks to our speakers. Amy Hackett-Jones created a new group – ‘100 Days of Happiness’ – setting a positive tone to the last 100 days of 2015 Were promoted Costa Women were honoured to be presented with an award at the Mijas Foreigners Department 30th Anniversary celebrations. Well done to Anette Skou and the team for setting up the first foreigners Department in Spain which is now a showcase for other Towns and Cities. Were Featured (and you may have found us thanks to):- · Expat Focus – 20 Twitter accounts every expat should follow · Euroweekly News · Expat to Inpat · Expats Blog – ‘Expat Women in Spain creating jobs’ · Currencies Direct – ‘Emigration myths debunked’ · Insider Abroad – ‘Networking and socializing for Women all over Spain’ · Eye on Spain – where, thanks to Sandra Piddock, we have our own blog page · 3Plus International – ‘6 ways Women’s networks add value’ (thanks Dorothy Dalton) · Nicole King’s TV and Radio show on Marbella Now – RTV Marbella · And thanks to Mijas 360 Comunicación have a regular slot on radio and TV to promote Costa Women events and YOUR businesses, charities and projects (thanks Karen McMahon). Let me know if you want to be promoted send me an email to costawomen@gmail.com · Have a regular article published in Key To Mijas Costa magazine (thanks Sandie) · Became community partners with Global Living Magazine Connected on Social Media Our Facebook page connects us to 4680 friends and followers Twitter Account – @costawomen made 6318 friends. Are you following us and also the list of Costa Women members? Our Linkedin Costa Women Entrepreneur’s group now has 170 members Made a Difference by raising for charity As part of our International Women’s Day Coference, raised 870€ for Amusuvig Malaga (Asociación de Mujeres Superviviente de la Violencia de Genero) and donated gifts for the Women and Children for Reyes At our Costa del Sol Summer party raised 1,660€ for Cudeca.org Supported the Kayak Charity Challenge. Find out more here in a blog from Sandra Piddock Costa Women Barcelona group raised a whopping €845 which went towards food and medicine for refugees in the camps at Calais. Through our KIVA group lent 23 enterpreneurs money through microloans to help them create their businesses and help alleviate poverty Collaborated with Cudeca Goldies and took part in events which raised over 20,000€ for the cudeca.org Hospice. We loved meeting you at events, on the website, via Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest and through Meetup. Thank YOU Costa Women for making this such a fun Year and for creating happy memories. Here’s to an even bigger 2016 – watch this space! Ali x

The plethora of holiday ads offering tempting summer deals can’t compete with birthdays and New Years topping up my tan in winter sunspots, a ticket to tranquillity… Gunjur Beach, Gunjur, Gambia Djembe drumming at the Pacific’s edge, deserted during my month-long stay with a friend, one week in a 4-star beach hotel then eco-huts, soul food and more drumming deep in the jungle. Sinquerim Beach, Goa, India A peaceful, deserted part of the Arabian Sea, comfy sunbeds and fresh coconut juice on tap, three wonderful weeks. Constant background music didn’t bother me, but bothered the ex!  Sámara Beach, Sámara, Costa Rica Barely a soul around apart from a couple of sport fishing boats, emerging from my Pacific swim was a Halle Berry moment, what a pretty picture she is… Sunrise Beach (Haad Rin Nok), Koh Phangan, Thailand Mango salad for breakfast, water volleyball in the Gulf by day (easier than it sounds), Full Moon Parties by night, green curry prawns day AND night! Hurghada Beach, Hurghada, Egypt With windsurfing partner and tour group hanging out for warm breezes to blow their way, I swung in my hammock, swam in the Red Sea, back to hammock, book… Prainha Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil On overcast January days, few ventured to this quieter part of the city, ideal for simply gazing over the Atlantic, and conversations in broken Spanish with Portuguese-speaking bar staff. Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California You stand out on the Pacific boardwalk if you’re not roller-skating backwards, wearing the teeniest pink bikini, or cradling a cutely bow-tied pet pooch – and that’s just the guys! Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia Bit too crowded to call it relaxing, but cool sipping smoothies higher up the hill looking down on the Pacific’s picture-postcard landmark. Arenal Beach, Jávea, Spain Twenty-five years ago, my first January in Spain, a welcoming 20°C, big shock. Out of the Med rather than in it, a great place to amble along the seaside, meeting point for eating, drinking and dancing. Virgin Gorda, Spanish Town, British Virgin Islands Heart of the tropics, I did a double-take sailing into this Caribbean harbour, stunning is an understatement. Someone below deck asked, “Is it hot?” Doh.   Caribbean, Here We Come! www.amazon.com/TALES-FROM-THE-TOWER-Caribbean-ebook/dp/B00X4NF0ZA © Chris Dove   dovechris1@gmail.com   Twitter @dovechris1

Word “meditation” is sometimes replaced by “sitting”. A posture one takes to meditate is really not so important, but obviously the easiest and most comfortable one is sitting. So instead of saying I meditate one can say I sit.   When I meet my friends for a chat I usually meet them at a cup of coffee or a lunch and we are sitting having a talk. Meditation is a meeting with my-self and it can as well be done in a sitting position. So if there is something I want to attend to, pay special attention to, something that bothers me or need special consideration I sit with it, paying attention and listening as if I was listening to an important, close friend. There is a difference though; I have a conversation with a friend using a verbal language, a language we both understand and my intelligent, thinking mind is in command of it. I cannot do it meditating because in that case the verbal language is an obstacle. I need to use and communicate in non-verbal way being present with what is in the here and now.  When I sit in meditation I am with my being and the being talks in sensations and feelings which appear in the body. I start by scanning the body; witnessing its state and functions (like breathing for example). I listen to motions and sensations occurring in the body and I discern them. This is non-verbal language used by my nervous system. I have been learning it for some time now and it is fascinating. I can sit with anxiety and listen to it; I can sit with worry, fear, doubt and irritation and listen to it. Listening in that case is heeding the energy in my body, feeling whatever is being communicated with an attitude of allowing and accepting. I allow it to express itself without judgement, to tell the whole, uncensored truth. And I do absolutely nothing about it. That’s meditation.