Do any of the following statements sound like you (even just a teensy bit)?
- I feel uncomfortable shining too brightly. Better to blend in and be more appropriate.
- I don´t feel I have any special attributes and if I did I would certainly not try to promote them to anyone!
- I´m terrified of being though too arrogant, I´d rather be modest.
- There´s no way I´d raise my prices because I might get criticized. “Who does she think she is?” is NOT something my nervous system can handle!
Some of these resonate with you?
The fact is, most of us have what´s called a Vow to Be Invisible running in our system to some extent or other. This vow is the sum total of all the beliefs and programming we downloaded as children usually from family, society and our experiences about fitting in, being appropriate and acceptable, and not acting “too big for our britches.”
And normally it doesn´t really seem like a problem. It seems perfectly reasonable. I mean, who wants to appear arrogant or like a braggart? BUT…
Do you see how this paradigm is going to rear its ugly head when we set out to get a business going and strive to actually make money doing what we love?
This vow gets majorly triggered and keeps us from doing the very activities that will bring us more customers and income (networking, promoting, sharing how great our offer is, asking for a raise)?
I don´t know about you, but this vow´s really been doing a number on me since I was little. By about the age of four, my operative thoughts were something like, “blend into the woodwork, and then you´ll feel safe.” Yes…it actually felt dangerous to me to ask for too much, stick out too much or receive too much attention.
My savvy child-self somehow knew that if I kept everything about myself on the downlow, obscuring my true self, desires and talents, then there was effectively NO chance of being criticized, risking rejection or having my needs or wants denied.
AND…conversely there was also NO chance of being loved, lauded, cheered, thanked or appreciated for who I really was…:(
Even if that vow was made a long time ago, it´s STILL causing fear, doubt and hesitation NOW when we need to step up and be seen, network, market ourselves with enthusiasm and charge our worth!
Are you seeing what I´m seeing? This vow is costing us big time!
With all this running in our mind/body system, how can we:
- market ourselves with bigger, bolder actions?
- step up and be seen for the expert that we are?
- attract friends and allies to help us?
- value our time and services by charging a higher price?
Want to see if this vow is royally messing with YOU on your path?
Two European cheek kisses,
Melissa Joy, Tapping Into Wealth Coach