In my latest book Out Of Fear Into Love I describe the four specific limiting beliefs that cause life to be a struggle; beliefs such as I Need to Prove Myself which get in the way of a happy, successful life.
Needing to prove means we’re doing the very opposite of accepting ourselves. Needing to prove means we:
- Put pressure on ourselves
- Speak to ourselves in harsh and unkind ways
- Tend to work too hard
- Blame ourselves personally for every little thing
- Constantly try to keep others happy
- Often struggle to be strong in the face of difficulties
- Try to do everything alone because we can’t accept we need help sometimes
On the other hand, when we let go of the need to prove we begin to accept ourselves, we:
- Give ourselves a break
- Speak to ourselves in kind and loving ways
- Forgive ourselves and see the bigger picture
- Respect our own needs
- Work without struggle
- Allow ourselves to feel vulnerable
- Share our challenges with others; ask for help
Which of those two lists feels better to you? I’m guessing the second one!
The first list is all about living from a place of fear, the second is all about living from a place of self-love. And self-acceptance is one of the best ways we can practice self-love. From the moment we do so, we become stronger, happier and more confident because, well that’s what love does for people!
Let’s take a look at three areas of your life that will improve when you start being more accepting:
Self-Acceptance Will Make Your Relationships Much Better
As I said in a recent post: The 90/10 Rule for a Happier Life the more focus we put on providing love for ourselves, instead of expecting others to provide it for us, the happier we can be.
If you wait for others to offer you their approval, you can end up feeling rejected and unhappy; not because other people are mean, but simply because they’re human beings who have good days and bad days and their own needs to focus on.
When you stop chasing after approval from others and start providing it for yourself, you’ll feel much more confident and at ease– that means you’ll feel more confident and at ease with others too – so your relationships will automatically improve.
Self-Acceptance Helps With Your Work
The world of work very often requires creative solutions to challenges and problems. When you try to push and prove yourself, you put yourself under stress. Then the part of your brain called the Amygdala (that controls the fight, flight or freeze response), becomes activated because it thinks you’re at risk in some way. It’s primary concern is to get you out of some perceived danger, so your ability to think creatively will simply freeze up because there are more important things to focus on!
Have you ever had the experience of giving up trying so hard at something, then suddenly the answer seems to come out of nowhere? That’s your creative energy flowing; because you’ve relaxed and accepted yourself more, the amygdala has no need to put you into survival mode.
Self-Acceptance Helps You Achieve Your Dreams
The psychologist and founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, once made a very wise point.
He said: ‘What you resist persists.’
When you try to resist those aspects of yourself you don’t like by judging and criticising yourself, saying ‘I’m no good,’ ‘I’m wrong,’ ‘I should do better,’ you’re just making those negative ideas about yourself seem bigger and more powerful, and therefore your sense of being able to achieve your dreams seems smaller.
On the other hand, if you choose not to pay those thoughts much attention, they become less potent and so they simply can’t get in the way of your success.
This all comes together beautifully. Because self-acceptance gives you better relationships, you’ll have more support to achive your dreams. And because self-acceptance enhances your creativity, you’ll be more successful – and all this means you’ll have more confidence to go ahead with your dreams.
So practicing self-acceptance is a really good thing—it can change your life from struggle to freedom and happiness in a very short time.
So how do we go about practicing self-acceptance? – it can be hard to just change our habits. Often the habit of self dis-approval is founded on limiting beliefs about our worth; beliefs formed way back in early childhood. Sometimes we need little help to let go of these limiting beliefs and painful experiences that are preventing us from accepting ourselves. We can do so by seeking help from a counsellor or therapist who has the skills and expertise.
Would you like some one-to-one sessions with me?
I offer face-to-face counselling and therapy sessions for individuals and couples in Mijas Costa, Malaga
I also offer online sessions across the Costa del Sol and worldwide via Skype or Zoom
To get in touch
Give me a call on either:
+34 602 489 656
+44 7429 440968
Or fill out the form at this link. I look forward to hearing from you and helping you.