Costa Women Blogs

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.   Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep. People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch. The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep. –Rumi   Ever had those moments in the middle of the night when you get an excellent idea, or the solution to a problem.  Because you are relaxed an idea can spring to mind at the strangest times. Also a great time to plant what you really want into your mind and let it take root whilst you are sleeping. There is a moment when you push against something and realise you couldn’t stop it, even if you wanted to. But the moment just before that realisation everything is completely calm; that’s when the breeze whispers its secrets so be ready!  The secrets the breeze has to tell you will help you learn and grow. The door to a better future is open and ready for you to go through just push… Ali x

I needed to go food shopping, restock, fill the cupboards, so when I opened them they would be full of inspiration, bursting with goodies, little gems, just waiting to be created into something yummy. But today was not the day to go shopping, well I’m mean I couldn’t, logistics, chores, lack of enthusiasm were all upon me.       So I knew this meant, concoct, dream up and devise from the ingredients I had, normally more than I imagine, always one to like a full larder and all that. A ‘bit of this and a bit of that ‘ supper…or as I like to call it, to the moans and groans of my family…   A pot full of goodness !   This generally consists of vegetables, herbs, stock, maybe a little left over meat from a roast, if I’m lucky and rich earthy lentils …That’s the part that brings on the moans and the groans.   So today was no different, and I’d like to share my pot full of goodness with you, feel free to amend, add, substitute anything , I’m sure you have your own pot full of goodness anyway..Go on share it !         Ingredients & Method   Any veg lurking in the fridge, chopped small. I used – Carrots, celery, onion and garlic & sweet potato.   Pan fry in a large saucepan or casserole to make a sofrito, in a little olive oil.   Add your chosen cooked meat, for me the last remants of my christmas jamon, rich and tasty.   Then stir in Green Lentils (puy) or Lentejas Pardina in Spain, usually I put in, a cup per person and one for luck. Stir till they’re all coated with oil.   Add garden herbs, rosemary, thyme, sage all good. Then add enough veg stock to cover.   I like to tuck in the old rind of a parmesan, add the bottom which adds a cramy richness.   Let bubble away, enjoy the aromas..   Then serve, in warm bowls, with hunks of bread, a drizzle of Olive Oil, and a prinkle of herbs.   Enjoy the quietness that preavils, as everyone, even the little protesters absorb the goodness.   For more food & Lifestyle from La Rosilla click here        

Living in another country can be a cherished experience, but new research suggests it might also help expand minds. This research, published by the American Psychological Association, is the first of its kind to look at the link between living abroad and creativity. “Gaining experience in foreign cultures has long been a classic prescription for artists interested in stimulating their imaginations or honing their crafts. But does living abroad actually make people more creative?” asks the study’s lead author, William Maddux, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at INSEAD and a former visiting assistant professor and post-doctoral fellow at the Kellogg School. “It’s a longstanding question that we feel we’ve been able to begin answering through this research” Maddux and Adam Galinsky, the Morris and Alice Kaplan Professor of Ethics and Decision in Management at the Kellogg School, conducted five studies to test the idea that living abroad and creativity are linked. The findings appear in the May issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association. In one study, MBA students at the Kellogg School were asked to solve the Duncker candle problem, a classic test of creative insight. In this problem, individuals are presented with three objects on a table placed next to a cardboard wall: a candle, a pack of matches and a box of tacks. The task is to attach the candle to the wall so that the candle burns properly and does not drip wax on the table or the floor. The correct solution involves using the box of tacks as a candleholder — one should empty the box of tacks and then tack it to the wall placing the candle inside. The solution is considered a measure of creative insight because it involves the ability to see objects as performing different functions from what is typical (i.e., the box is not just for the tacks but can also be used as a stand). The results showed that the longer students had spent living abroad, the more likely they were to come up with the creative solution. In another study, also involving Kellogg School students, the researchers used a mock negotiation test involving the sale of a gas station. In this negotiation, a deal based solely on sale price was impossible because the minimum price the seller was willing to accept was higher than the buyer’s maximum. However, because the two parties’ underlying interests were compatible, a deal could be reached only through a creative agreement that satisfied both parties’ interests. Here again, negotiators with experience living abroad were more likely to reach a deal that demanded creative insight. In both studies, time spent traveling abroad did not matter; only living abroad was related to creativity. Maddux and Galinsky then ran a follow-up study to see why living abroad was related to creativity. With a group of MBA students at INSEAD in France, they found that the more students had adapted themselves to the foreign cultures when they lived abroad, the more likely they were to solve the Duncker candle task. “This shows us that there is some sort of psychological transformation that needs to occur when people are living in a foreign country in order to enhance creativity. This may happen when people work to adapt themselves to a new culture,” said Galinsky. Although these studies show a strong relationship between living abroad and creativity, they do not prove that living abroad and adapting to a new culture actually cause people to be more creative. “We just couldn’t randomly assign people to live abroad while others stay in their own country,” said Maddux. To help get at this question of what causes someone to be creative, the authors tried a technique called “priming.” In two experiments, they asked groups of undergraduate students at the Sorbonne in Paris to recall and write about a time they had lived abroad or adapted to a new culture; other groups were asked to write about other experiences, such as going to the supermarket, learning a new sport or simply observing but not adapting to a new culture. The results showed that priming students to mentally recreate their past experiences living abroad or adapting to a new culture caused students, at least temporarily, to be more creative. For example, these students drew space aliens and solved word games more creatively than students primed to recall other experiences. “This research may have something to say about the increasing impact of globalization on the world, a fact that has been hammered home by the recent financial crisis,” said Maddux. “Knowing that experiences abroad are critical for creative output makes study abroad programs and job assignments in other countries that much more important, especially for people and companies that put a premium on creativity and innovation to stay competitive.” BASED ON THE RESEARCH OF WILLIAM MADDUX AND ADAM D. GALINSKY

To Costa Women and beyond, I would like to share with you some information and an adapted blog post I have just written for my website. I run a small online language travel agency called www.geminicourses.com I promote the learning of Spanish and English by selling intensive Spanish courses in Spain for expats as well as intensive English courses abroad for Spanish-speakers. So here’s a little about it:   My vision for Gemini Courses was always to have that sense of duality. I always wanted to fundamentally be able to offer English courses to Spanish people and Spanish courses to English people (and anyone in between of course!). I am the kind of person that appreciates the aesthetics of order and symmetry, especially when it comes to design, a bit like on a butterfly, I suppose. So as to not overload my plate, I chose to begin with offering English courses in English-speaking countries to Spanish speakers based in Spain. I left the UK with strong contacts in many high quality English schools and wanted to develop this side of the business first. After a great year in 2010 I know that now is the time to introduce the Spanish courses to English-speaking people who are already based in Spain. In the time I have lived here I have encountered a large number of people who are living here and perhaps are only interacting with other expats and are finding it hard to develop their Spanish. Until now I have not had the set up to be able to help them. So, enter stage left: Learning Spanish with Gemini Courses. How it basically works is that I am an agent for a range of high quality Spanish language schools all over Spain who are dedicated Spanish language centres focussed entirely on teaching Spanish to foreigners. I work with schools from Cádiz to Barcelona and Salamanca to San Sebastian. Of course, here on the Costa del Sol there are superb schools in Tarifa, Marbella, Malaga, Nerja and Almuñécar. And for our friends on the islands I also represent schools in Menorca and Tenerife. I organise your course and accommodation and send you all the information you need, in English if need be. Courses are open to anyone and can be from one week to six months with or without accommodation. I have personally taken courses at language schools in Marbella, Granada, Tarifa, Vejer de la Frontera and Tenerife. Each course was slightly different in its own right but the common theme was that there is no doubt that my Spanish improved greatly after each one. Part of my vision is to be able to share this with as many people as possible and help us to each integrate and feel more a part of this country we have chosen to call home. So I invite you to browse the pages on the site and learn a little more about how it all works. Feel free to email me at any time to ask any questions. I am gradually adding all the destinations I offer so there are not many dates and prices showing on the site yet. If there is a location you are interested in, please ask as I may have contacts in towns other than the ones showing. New destinations and courses are added every day so be sure to check back regularly. You can also get the RSS feed or sign up to our less-than-monthly-newsletter. I look forward to spreading more Spanish among the expats of the Costas and beyond – why not join me? Saludos! Sarah

by Solidbasics International – Relocation & Mobility Consultancy   Culture shock can never be completely avoided but the effects of it can be softened. It occurs when one’s own cultural values and beliefs come into conflict with those of another culture. The greater the differences between the two cultures the greater the chance of culture shock. The most obvious conflict area is language. Of all aspects of culture, language is the most pervasive and the use or misuse of language is the most obvious area of cross-cultural problems. Culture is defined here in the anthropological sense, not in the fine arts sense. The anthropological term “culture” refers to all the learned behaviour and accepted mores within a specific society or group of people. Therefore, if culture is made up of learned values, these can be studied and a plan of action can be devised to help us anticipate the resultant culture shock. Cultural differences and the misreading of these differences are the most frequent cause of conflict between groups from different cultures or countries. These differences are mostly unconscious, which makes them harder to cope with.   Culture is, by nature, learned behaviour. There is nothing innate about it: it is not instinct, behaviour that is the result of our genetic heritage. Nearly all of a culture is learned through use of language. Non-verbal communication occurs in all societies, but language is the primary medium of communication between human beings.   The relationship between language and culture is an inseparable one. While scientist still debate how much of our experiences is perceived within the conceptual and grammatical perspective of a person’s language, sharing them is impossible without a common understanding of these perspectives. People never realize the impact this has on their thinking until they learn a completely different language. Your language provides the framework within which you perceive reality: structural comparisons between two languages often highlights the differences in the way their speakers experience the world. So, to lessen culture shock, lesson number one is to learn as much as you can of the language of your expatriate destination. Even if you can not speak it, this improves your understanding of their point of view.   What is said may not be what is heard. Have you ever said to someone; “That is not what I meant”? What you say may not be heard as you meant it. It may be heard as something totally different from what you meant. Culture acts as a filter for meaning. If this confusion is found when speaking among users of the same language, imagine how much greater the confusion is when the very thought patterns of the hearer are totally alien to you. For example, the word “it” in English covers a multitude of meanings. In the Navajo Indian language there is no generic “it”. You would have to use a form that describes a specific shape, form, or size of “it”. Even among languages with a common origin this problem might come up: many West-Europeans take their lunch in the canteen, from the Latin “cantina”. Italians however, might eat lunch in the “mensa”, the so similar sounding word “scantinato” is the basement! So, lesson number two is to be aware that what you say and what you hear may not be what is perceived by the party on the other end of the conversation, and to understand that what might be simple and clear to you might not be so to someone else.   Being aware of cultural differences in language use can aid in adjusting to cultural differences, but only through total immersion in the cultural tradition of the country can you avoid most culture shock. Since most expatriates never reach that level of immersion, be resigned to the fact that at some point in your experience abroad you will find yourself in a state of culture shock. But that too shall pass. In communication, more than anywhere else, there are no stupid questions.

by Archan Mehta I ran into Ralph at a conference and he impressed me with his wisdom. A life-long learner, Ralph’s presence was mystical, and he seemed to have the answers to life’s challenges. Not exactly sure of myself, I decided to tag along and learn from Ralph. Whenever Ralph was in the neighbourhood, I would call him and try to schedule a meeting. “So, what’s up?” asked Ralph. We were seated at a cafe, where people-watching was the norm. “Life’s good,” I replied. “What are the current challenges you are facing?” probed Ralph. “Are you a mind-reader?” I asked, surprised. “Come on, out with it,” said Ralph. “What are you not telling me?” “Well, there’s a lot of talk about multi-tasking these days. The business world is full of people obsessed about it.” “Look at these people.” “How do you mean?” “Tell me what you observe.” “Well, everybody seems to be rushing around. Their cell phones are buzzing or beeping. They are busy talking, walking, eating….all at the same time.” “Exactly. There is a lack of present moment awareness,” observed Ralph. “They are acting like a hydra-headed monster.” “What’s the solution?” I probed. “What do you recommend?” “Well, I don’t know the solution. And I don’t recommend anything. It’s for the individual to reach his/her own conclusions.” There was a puzzled look on my face, so Ralph started to laugh. Ralph always had a way with laughter. You felt like laughing with him, so I started laughing too. “Listen,” said Ralph. “Are you game for an experiment?” “Sure, it depends on the experiment,” I responded. “Don’t worry, Archan, I won’t send you to the cleaners or have you kidnapped by the mob.” “What’s on your mind?” I asked. “Exactly my point,” responded Ralph. “When you talk in riddles, I don’t like it,” I said, exasperated. “What’s on your plate?” “A slice of buttered toast.” “Good. I want you to eat it.” “What? You gotta be kidding me,” I responded. “Is this some kind of joke?” “No, I am serious. Just follow my instructions.” “Eating a slice of bread won’t make my problems disappear. You’re pulling my leg.” “Nope. We’re just experimenting, that’s all. But are you game for it?” “Yes, I am.” So, I polished off the buttered toast in a jiffy and looked at Ralph. Ralph started to laugh. I wasn’t amused. I thought he was making fun of me. “Why are you mocking me?” “I’m not. I find your behaviour funny, that’s all.” “What do you mean?” “You eat as if are competing in a sprint and have to win first prize.” “That’s how people eat these days.” “Exactly, because they are too busy multi-tasking.” “Explain.” “Well, when you are jumping from one task to another, speed becomes the essence of life. It’s only when you slow down, that you really experience life.” “Yeah, I never really enjoyed the experience of eating, but it sure made me feel less hungry.” “Exactly. Focussing on the end result prevented you from the pleasure of eating.” “I see what you mean. I was never in the moment. My mind was rushing around from one moment to the next.” “There are lessons here for your professional life too, but I will leave you alone to figure that out.” “I get it. The key is to enjoy the moment, be in present-moment awareness.” “Taking your time during tasks will enable you to simplify your life. You don’t have to multi-task if you don’t want to.” “Yeah, I know what you mean. I have been spreading myself too thin of late.” “Sitting here, we are just enjoying the conversation. Human relationships can be a pleasure if we would only take the time.” “Yeah, like we are just sitting here and doing nothing. And yet, it is a great experience.” “Yup, despite the miracles of technology, there is no substitute for face to face and open communication, right?” Since that brief encounter, I have been thinking about slowing down. Too often, we rush around from here to there. Our minds are sort of like a wild elephant, rampaging through the jungles of Africa. We don’t enjoy the journey because we are focussed on the destination.  If you are a salesman, do you think your customer would appreciate it if you were only interested in making a sale? Maybe it is better to slow down and get to know your customer personally, his/her likes and dislikes. Instead of talking, listen to your customer. When you slow down, you learn to listen with empathy. By getting into your customer’s mind, you can tweak your product/service to suit your customer. Present-moment awareness makes you a better salesperson. When you take the time, you allow your customer/client to establish a relationship. Your customer/client will thank your for it when they buy your product or service. Ralph’s lesson made sense, finally, and I heaved a sigh of relief. Archan Mehta is a freelancer and hobbyist and can be contacted at archanm@hotmail.com   Note from Costa Women: Don’t forget about being present with your partner, children, parents, friends and relatives too… Its important we all take the moment to enjoy our relationships.  Despite what is going on in our world they are the constant that helps us through life!