Costa Women Blogs

Our Obstacles
Our obstacles are our problems. Sometimes our problems reside only in our heads, as in negative thoughts, or worries, or fear, and sometimes our problems are actual events that occur to us, such as losing our job, having an accident, failing to pass the bar, and so on. Sometimes our obstacles are individuals whose presence in our lives makes everything so much more difficult. Think of the nagging mother-in-law, the over-bearing supervisor at work, or the colleague who steals your ideas. I could mention the life partner who abandons you (see also When Love Walks Out the Door: Six Tips For Intelligent Survival), or the one who cheats on you (see also Why Does My Partner Treat Me Like This?), the teenage child that takes drugs, or the sister that was just given a terminal diagnosis. Obstacles are what stand in our way to an easy life. Our obstacles make our life difficult, and we just know, we absolutely know that the day we manage to get rid of them all, everything will be so much better…or will it? (Also listen to my audio clip How Do You Choose to React?)   A Bad Rap Obstacles really have a bad rap. Life’s burdens. Our crosses. We don’t tend to refer to obstacles in positive terms, nor do we speak well of them, or welcome them into our lives. Obstacles form part of our lives, and when they hover on the horizon, we cast our eyes about, attempting to find the quickest way to rid ourselves of them. The very connotation of the word obstacle is something grim, gloomy, foreboding, awful, and the dictionary tells us that it is a barrier and a hindrance, an impediment, an interference, a difficulty and an inconvenience. Our Friends And yet, obstacles, by their very nature, precisely because they must be overcome if we are to surmount them, offer an innate opportunity. If we allow ourselves to view obstacles from another standpoint, we might just come to the conclusion that obstacles are our friends. (See also Claiming Responsibility For the Self). Huh? Yes. Our friends. That old business about every cloud having a silver lining…there is actually some merit in it. If you can look at your obstacles as opportunities for growth, there is not a shred of doubt in my mind that you will find something of value in your moment of difficulty, and furthermore, you may even find that in some measure, the obstacle proves easier to overcome than others in the past, simply because of this new viewpoint. When my mother died when I was 19, while I was traveling abroad without the faintest idea that she was even ill, I was hurled headfirst into a bottomless black pit of gut-wrenching despair. I thought at first that I would never come back out of it. I imagined her having known that she was dying of a very fast-moving cancer, letting me go on my trip, taking the decision not to tell me so that I did not have to watch her die, and I felt myself tear into pieces. I could not imagine that I would ever be able to leave that black subterranean place that accosted me with its ferocious pain as I woke up every morning, and held me in its gelid embrace as I fell asleep at night. A Greater Purpose After only a few days, out of some deep place inside of me, I knew that this had to serve a greater purpose. She could not have died in the manner in which she did, without it coming to mean something valuable in my life. I had to make something of it. And I did. I began to realize the importance of the now moment. I began to appreciate the utmost wonder of every moment we have that we can share with those we love. I recognized how important it was to tell those we love that we love them. It’s not enough to know that they know…it’s also necessary to put it into words every so often. Choices We Make About Our Obstacles Those early lessons didn’t make me perfect. Later lessons were – seen subjectively – even harder, and – in some, very dark moments of my life – much more devastating. In the richness of hindsight I now know, and am pleased to affirm, that the person I am today – someone that I like very much – is this way precisely because of some of those major difficulties in my life. You might almost say that the obstacles were the jewels in my life that helped to hone me to bring me to the place I am today – on an inner level, and that without those obstacles, I would not have become who I am. In trying to learn the lessons these obstacle brought to me, I fell by the wayside many times, and certainly will again, but they placed me firmly on a road from which I have not side-tracked for decades. And they taught me that all our obstacles, or our challenges, if we make the choice to view them through this new prism, can indeed become our friends, can indeed present us with magnificent opportunities to grow and learn, can indeed teach us important lessons about life, and thus can indeed bring us to a place where we actually live life more authentically and in a much better – and more free – way than before. Not Minding What Happens Viewing our obstacles from the point of view expressed by the great Krishnamurti – by what he said was his secret – I don’t mind what happens – allows us to recognize that – in the words of Eckhart Tolle in his A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose: “To be in alignment with what is means to be in a relationship of inner nonresistance with what happens. It means not to label it mentally as good or bad, but to let it be. Does this mean you can no longer take action to bring about change in your life? On the contrary. When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of Life itself.” (If you have not seen his ten 90-minute webinars about this book on Oprah’s website, click here to access them. This link is always available on the right side-bar of my blog in the links section.) Where There is no Resistance, There is no Pain Chris Griscom also wrote, many years ago, in one of her many magnificent books: where there is no resistance, there is no pain. And that brings to mind something similar in Tolle’s seminal work The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Two short paragraphs in this – his first book – had meant a great deal to me almost three years ago when I was given a diagnosis of malignant uterine cancer. “The present moment is sometimes unacceptable, unpleasant, or awful. It is as it is. Observe how the mind labels it and how this labeling process, this continuous sitting in judgment, creates pain and unhappiness. By watching the mechanics of the mind, you step out of its resistance patterns, and you can then allow the present moment to be. This will give you a taste of the state of inner freedom from external conditions, the state of true inner peace. Then see what happens, and take action if necessary or possible.” A Miraculous Transformation “Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” And that is what brings us to the point of this whole article: as you work with your obstacles, rather than against them, you will find – through this miraculous transformation Tolle refers to – that one singular ingredient – worth its weight in gold – in your life that can make it so much better –transform it miraculously – and that I continue to talk about over and over again in these newsletters: you will find inner peace and inner freedom. For many more articles at my blog Rewiring the Soul, click here
The website I have been working on for the past few weeks is finally ready for the first stage…the site address is This is a connection and networking site for all talented people and businesses associated with talent.  Although this site is very new and has only been active for a few days, there are other elements to add to this site to make it complete,which will happen in short time, but for now, it is available for like minded people to join to showcase their talents and for connections to be made.  Any talent can join, just drop me a line either here or at my email address…  
Leaving People better than when we found them
  Everyday we interact with people and as guests in Spain this aspect of our lives has to take into account different attitudes, languages and cultures.  Over the last month, I have been overseas and this point has been particularly poignant for me as I have travelled about.   I wondered on my journey what would happen if I managed to leave the people I met better than when I found them?   Imagine if you approached life, business, love and everything else that matters with the same attitude of leaving everybody you come into contact with better than when you found them because of a kind word, thought, or deed. It doesn’t have to be done by giving money, signing up your time, or trying to save the world. However, we can have an amazing affect if our only intention were to leave everybody we came into contact with better off than when we found them.  It only need take a second; how about starting by smiling at the complete stranger today? “One day, you’ll be just a memory for some people. Do your best to be a good one.”
When's the best time to plant a tree?
A friend of mine has organised an event called “who will you be in 5 years time?”   Sadly its not in Spain, however this got me thinking about the 100s of possibilities for the journey as well as the arrival (a goal without a plan is just a wish).   What would Costa Women or my business look like?  What about you? Maybe you would have moved up the corporate ladder, or taken an idea and turned it into a successful business, or perhaps you will have sold your business and have moved on to your next project?  What would your relationship status be?  Perhaps you will have married, or finally ended a destructive relationship and be free to move on with your life?  Would you have children, grand children?  Where will you be living?  How will you be dressed, look and behave?  Will you have finally cracked the healthy campaign and be enjoying more energy, better sleep patterns and carrying less weight about (both physical and emotional)?   As we get older 5 years can come and go in a flash so I plan on giving this some head room over the next few weeks. Oh and when’s the best time to plant a tree?  10 years ago… when’s the next time NOW!  Off to plant my tree!
The Artistic World of Art.
I am putting together a database of talented and creative people, as I have an exciting new project in the pipeline, so anyone who this may apply to, please send me an email to   Furthermore I am looking for people who have had personal experiences with dreams or nightmares as I am also in the process of creating a new project for the not so far future.  Many times we dream about things we want so much, things we wish to achieve, and we dream about seeing ourselves achieving those dreams; some believe that they only experience these because it is what they want most, others believe the dreams could be like a premonition, and those dreams will come true. There are other dreams however, some rather surreal and bizarre dreams which, run from beginning to end like the pages of a book or a short trailer of a movie, where often the dreamer does not understand their purpose or meaning, dreams that leave the dreamer feeling curious where they tend to linger over those dreams for some time to come, vivid dreams that are remembered from beginning to end…if anyone falls into this category then I would like to hear from you, just email me at the above email address with a few details about how this affects you.  Whilst many wise people will say it does not do well to dwell on dreams, it is possible to vividly recall but without dwelling as such…everything happens for a reason usually, and sometimes indirect messages in dreams can be hailed as warnings or messages of good will or advice…get in touch with me if any of the above applies. x
How to Make Decisions That Are Right for You
Decision-making can be stressful. The stress is worse when you try to make decisions based on what everyone else wants you to do. The best kinds of decisions are the ones that you make that lead you to the happiness and success you deserve!   Input from your family and friends can be vital to helping you make big decisions, but you are the one who has to live with the outcome. Those decisions should be the right decisions for you above all else. But how do you make those decisions? Here are three questions to ask when you’re facing important choices.   Whose Idea Is It?   Consider the source of the ideas on the table. Are they yours, or are they from family and friends? Accepting someone else’s solution without your input may lead to a decision that you’ll regret later. If you aren’t sure what you really want, stop and figure that out before you make the decision.   You’re the master of your own destiny, and input from others is no substitute for your own feelings about the issue. Others may have your best interests at heart, but those people aren’t you. They don’t know everything about your situation. And only you really know what’s best for you.   Who Will Suffer the Consequences of a Bad Decision?   When you get conflicting options form other people about a decision, think about how each option will affect you. It’s easy to advise others when you’re not the one who’ll suffer the consequences of a bad choice. Take control of your destiny by choosing the results you deserve.   Consider how each option affects your heart, mind, and spirit. How will the choice affect your happiness and peace? It’s important to consider others, but not at the expense of your needs and feelings.   Also, what are the long-term consequences of your options? Some choices may have an instant payoff that evaporates quickly. Strive to make decisions that have positive outcomes in both the short and long term.   How Does the Decision Feel to You?   Once you’ve come to a final decision, reflect on the path you’ve chosen. Does it make you feel peaceful inside, or does it cause you to struggle with feelings of doubt and uncertainty? Decisions that bring you peace are often the best choice.   Instead of making decisions that only bring physical happiness or instant gratification, look for options that provide the greatest fulfillment for the longest amount of time.   These decisions should:   Give you joy instead of only temporary pleasure Make you happy for the long term Be worth working for Resonate with your spirit Feel like you’re doing the right thing Cause no harm to others   If any option you’re considering fails to meet all of these criteria, it probably falls short of the ideal choice for you. What you choose is up to you, but your decisions will ultimately affect both you and others. So it’s important to mull over your options carefully.   Consider the opinions of others, but ultimately listen to your heart and make choices that resonate with your spirit. If you do, you’ll make the right decision for you and experience the happiness you deserve.