Costa Women Blogs

Closing Cycles/Cerrando Circulos
from Paulo Coelho One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister. Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. HAPPY NEW YEAR! ¡FELIZ AÑO NUEVO 2011! Siempre es preciso saber cuándo se acaba una etapa de la vida. Si insistes en permanecer en ella más allá del tiempo necesario, pierdes laalegría y el sentido del resto. Cerrando círculos, o cerrando puertas, o cerrando capítulos, como quieras llamarlo. Lo importante es poder cerrarlos, y dejar ir momentos de la vida que se van clausurando. ¿Terminó tu trabajo?, ¿Se acabó tu relación?, ¿Ya no vives más en esa casa?, ¿Debes irte de viaje?, ¿La relación se acabó? Puedes pasarte mucho tiempo de tu presente “revolcándote” en los porqués, en devolver el cassette y tratar de entender por qué sucedió tal o cual hecho. El desgaste ya a ser infinito, porque en la vida, tú, yo, tu amigo, tus hijos, tus hermanos, todos y todas estamos encaminados hacia ir cerrando capítulos, ir dando vuelta a la hoja, a terminar con etapas, o con momentos de la vida y seguir adelante. No podemos estar en el presente añorando el pasado. Ni siquiera preguntándonos porqué. Lo que sucedió, sucedió, y hay que soltarlo, hay que desprenderse. No podemos ser niños eternos, ni adolescentes tardíos, ni empleados de empresas inexistentes.¡Los hechos pasan y hay que dejarlos ir! Por eso, a veces es tan importante destruir recuerdos, regalar presentes, cambiar de casa, romper papeles, tirar documentos, y vender o regalar libros. Dejar ir, soltar, desprenderse. En la vida nadie juega con las cartas marcadas, y hay que aprender a perder y a ganar. Hay que dejar ir, hay que dar vuelta a la hoja, hay que vivir sólo lo que tenemos en el presente… El pasado ya pasó. No esperes que te lo devuelvan, no esperes que te reconozcan, no esperes que alguna vez se den cuenta de quién eres tú… Suelta el resentimiento. El prender “tu televisor personal” para darle y darle al asunto, lo único que consigue es dañarte lentalmente, envenenarte y amargarte. La vida está para adelante, nunca para atrás. ¿Noviazgos o amistades que no clausuran?, ¿Posibilidades de regresar? (¿a qué?), ¿Necesidad de aclaraciones?, ¿Palabras que no se dijeron?, ¿Silencios que lo invadieron? Si puedes enfrentarlos ya y ahora, hazlo, si no, déjalos ir, cierra capítulos. Dite a ti mismo que no, que no vuelven. Pero no por orgullo ni soberbia, sino, porque tú ya no encajas allí en ese lugar, en ese corazón, en esa habitación, en esa casa, en esa oficina, en ese oficio. Tú ya no eres el mismo que fuiste hace dos días, hace tres meses, hace un año. Por lo tanto, no hay nada a qué volver. Cierra la puerta, da vuelta a la hoja, cierra el círculo.
Ready, Aim, GOAL!
It’s that time of year again when we look back over the past 12 months and think about what we want to achieve in 2011. Some of us use this time to write goals to put down a marker of what we want to happen during the coming year.  The following article gives advice as to how to make achievable goals using the S.M.A.R.T. acronym.   SMART Goals   Ever feel like your goals just don’t inspire you to take action? Is the one thing you remember when you reach your goal is how hard it was to get there? Then your goals may not be SMART!    SMART is an acronym for goals that are: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-based.   A specific goal is simple and easy to describe. When you set goals for yourself, are they specific and precise? “I want to be happy” is not specific. “I want to live happily in Hawaii” is specific. Your personal power lies in clarity.      A measurable goal is one that has a specific outcome. How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? If someone were to videotape you reaching your goal would it be obvious whether you achieved your goal or not? For example, the goal of saving $10,000 in a year is measurable. On December 31st you have either reached the goal or not. It can be easily measured.    An attainable goal is one that allows you to stretch, but is not impossible. Let’s say you want to make a million dollars. Great goal. But, if you are currently out of work or are not saving money, this goal is currently not achievable. If financial prosperity is a goal, start by getting work or saving/investing and then move on to the next attainable goal as you work towards your vision.    A relevant goal is one that has meaning for you. It is not just a good idea or a “should”. It reflects who you are and what you value as a human being. Pick something that gives you joy. If you want to lose weight connect that desire to a larger intention. Living a healthy and fit life is the larger intention that makes the weight loss goal relevant. Choose things that are important to YOU and that make a difference in your life.    A time-based goal is one that has an end date. Even if you don’t know if you can accomplish your goal in the time you’ve set for yourself set a date anyway. The mind responds to specifics. Setting a date and creating a plan or path for the goal will notify your mind you mean business!    One of the reasons that goal setting has such a bad reputation is that we often confuse a goal with a task. If you don’t experience a resounding “yes” as you create goals for yourself, then you are creating tasks. You are creating another variation of a “to-do list”. Ask yourself: “Will I be relieved when it is done?” If the answer is yes to this question, you have a task, not a goal.    Ask yourself: What do you truly want? What is really important to you? Look at what you gravitate towards naturally. This is a great place to start making SMART goals. Remember, goals are part of the process that moves you toward your dreams. © 2010 Creating Strategies, Inc.  Image from http://www.jascoaching.com/
Tis the season to be jolly....and also very stressed!
If you’re feeling irritable, rushed, resentful, lonely, or overwhelmed, keep these strategies in mind to help boost your happiness: 1. Get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major disturber of people’s moods. Jet lag, traveling, parties, and over-excited children all make it hard to get your usual number of hours. Making an effort to get to bed at a decent hour really pays off. 2. Exercise. Studies show that one of the quickest and surest ways to boost your mood is to exercise. If you’re away from home and can’t do your usual routine, even a short walk will help. Even better, exercise outside, where the sunlight will help improve your mood and focus. 3. Stay in control of your eating. It seems to me that guilt about holiday binging is a major source of the blues. As an abstainer (as opposed to a moderator)*, I’ve decided that I won’t have even one sweet during December. It’s easier for me to abstain altogether than to be temperate. It may seem Scrooge-ish not to have gingerbread cookies or bites of a Winstead’s Frosty, but I’m happier when I’m not worrying about it. 4. Take your time; plan ahead. Hurrying to pack, rushing through stores, sprinting to make a flight – these are sure to put you in a bad mood. Try to give yourself plenty of time to do what you need to do. 5. Learn from the past. What has made you unhappy in years of old? Think back. Avoid your triggers. Stay out of the kitchen, stay out of the mall, stay away from Uncle Billy – sometimes there’s a weird triumphant satisfaction in getting worked up, yet again, by a particular situation. Don’t do it! Don’t expose yourself to known happiness risks. 6. Make time for real fun. Sometimes holiday vacations, which are supposed to be “fun,” are actually a huge hassle. Figure out ways to have fun. In my family, we decided to reduce gift-giving. All the adults “draw” for each other’s names, and we each buy stocking presents for just one other person. Also, include time for things YOU like to do: going to a movie, taking a nap while everyone else goes skating, going to the gym. I plan to spend a lot of time drinking coffee with my sister. 7. Behave yourself! If you sulk, snap, tease, or shirk, you’re not going to feel happy. It may feel good, but only for a moment. Then you’re going to feel bad. Instead, try to help out, bite your tongue, clean up, or run to the store. Look for opportunities to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” or “This is fine,” or “What should I be doing?” Do good, feel good—this really works! The way we act shapes the way we feel, so if you act in an affectionate, thoughtful way, you’ll feel more affectionate and thoughtful. 8. Fill your heart with love. My Twelfth Personal Commandment is “There is only love.” If you’re heading into a difficult situation, take a moment to fill your heart with love. Think of all the reasons that you’re grateful to your family and friends, and the happy memories you’ve shared, and how things might look from other people’s perspectives. This can be hard to do, but it will make you happier. And if you’re happy, you’re going to be better able to make other people happy. That is the mystery of the Second Splendid Truth One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself. Holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love, and fun — and we can’t bicker, complain, and nag our way there. Figure out what YOU need to do to keep a holiday spirit. Number One on my personal list: everyone must GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Taken from The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin http://www.happiness-project.com/ Image from http://blogs.abc.net.au/ *Are you a moderator or an abstainer? http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/01/quiz-are-you-a-moderator-or-an-abstainer.html
Where do you live? In a bubble? In reality? Which do you prefer?
There are two places in the world that most expats live: in a Bubble or in Reality. It can be wonderful to live in a bubble. In a bubble, everything counts on your perception, rather than the reality. This can be good or bad, depending on your imagination. You can imagine your boss likes you. You can imagine your neighbour loves your new wind chime. You can imagine you’re fluent in Spanish. But at some point, if you stay in a foreign country long enough, your bubble will break. Often, this happens when you learn the language, know the customs, befriend a local, or have to visit the unemployment office. Where do you live? In a bubble? In reality? Which do you prefer? by Chantal Panozzo http://www.writerabroad.com/p/about-writer-abroad.html Photo taken from http://wizbangblog.com/
Social networking reaches more women than men, study shows
Social networking websites reach more women than men around the world, according to a study released yesterday by comScore. The Virginia-based internet research firm found 76 percent of all women online visit a social networking website, versus 70 percent of men. Women also spend more time on such websites than men, averaging 5.5 hours per month compared with 3.9 hours for men. The findings mark a shift from the early days of the internet, when men accounted for the majority of internet usage, said comScore analyst Andrew Lipsman. Much of that shift can be attributed to the emergence of social media channels, he said, in which women are more likely to engage. “It’s a natural extension of the differences between men and women,” he said, “including how they communicate and the frequency with which they communicate.” He added the gap between male and female internet usage was consistent all over the world. Social networking’s reach among women is highest — at 94 percent — in Latin America, where local cultures encourage greater communication, Lipsman said. North American women ranked second at 91 percent, while in Asia, where many populations still face low broadband penetration, just 55 percent of women visited a social networking website. The study, conducted in May, also found women are generating more e-commerce activity. They spend about 20 percent more time on retail websites than men — a figure that breaks down an old gender stereotype, Lipsman said. “The conventional wisdom is that men are more functional shoppers and are more likely to be heavier online consumers,” he said. “That’s not true anymore.” Even engaging in online vices is no longer an exclusively male territory. Women actively visited online gambling and adult content websites, Lipsman said. “This is clearly a long-term cultural paradigm that we’re seeing,” he said. “Women are accelerating their internet usage and are building a solid majority over men.” Taken from: http://www.nj.com/business/index.ssf/2010/07/study_shows_social_networking.html
Web Content
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