Day 27 – Saturday 11th April
One of the posts doing the rounds on social media at the moment is the question ‘what have learned about yourself during this lockdown?’ It plays into the idea that it is during difficult times that we find what we’re made of. Also the fact that spending large amounts of time alone with no distractions gives us the opportunity to think about who we really are and what is important to us.
So when this question came up on the page of a friend I gave it due consideration, but decided not to respond as the short answer is: nothing. I have discovered nothing profoundly new about myself whatsoever. I’m pretty sure that’s not what they want to hear. I don’t consider this a bad thing. I’m a middle aged woman who’s been round life’s shit show on more than one occasion. I knew exactly what was important to me before this quarantine and it hasn’t changed. If I was still unaware of who I am by now it begs the question what the hell have I been doing with my life.
The reality is I have spent many years alone with myself and have long been comfortable with who I am, warts and all. That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t strive to improve or embrace learning new things, but neither am I looking for a fundamental change. I am who I am (one of my favourite songs, preferably the Shirley Bassey version) and the current crisis doesn’t change that.
For those of you still pursuing the way to self acceptance I’d advise you to use this time well. The sooner you become comfortable with yourself the easier life will be. It wont stop bad things happening or make you immune to grief and anger, it just makes the journey to acceptance of things you can’t control that little bit easier, as you are doing it with someone you like rather than fighting against yourself all the time.
That’s my deep thought of the week. Enjoy or ignore as you will. I really don’t mind.