On Mindfulness

The now is original and unique. It has never happened before. I come to the now with a luggage of experiences and behaviours that I acquired in the past. I interpret what is in the here accordingly to what had happened to me earlier, sometimes decades ago. I filter the present moment through my old ideas. Ideas that served me well in the past but may be outdated and not valid any longer. This is happening almost automatically. I perceive something, I experience it and before I know my intelligent, thinking, protecting mind has come up with interpretation, story and explanation of it, telling me within a fraction of second what to do, what kind of position I should take in this circumstances. This mechanism is very helpful quite often, but it can be very disturbing and destructive as well. It can push me to do things, to say things that are no longer serving me, or even can hurt me, because I do them automatically and mindlessly. Why do I eat this chocolate bar when somebody or something has upset me? Was eating chocolate a way of solving problems when I was a little girl? To change this pattern I need to see the bigger picture, the picture of the present moment with me being an adult now. Mindfulness helps to retrain nerves system to see and to be in the present moment. It allows me to be conscious of the real time and real space of now. It allows me to see what is really happening without jumping immediately to a conclusion and judgement. It creates space for a conscious response instead of automatic reaction. And it does it gently. That’s why I like mindfulness and meditation so much.