On Mindfulness

 A member of my family died lately. It was too soon, too abrupt and too painful; it almost always is. We are still shocked at that fact. We don’t know how and where to put this huge empty space that is left for us.

There is a story about his life and about his death. There is a story about “why”, “why not” and “if only”… These stories should help us to come to terms with this absurd situation and we hope that they will bring a relief. The intelligent mind is working assiduously on a solution to an irrecoverable loss. This loss can be talked of or not, but it is always thought of and what is more important it is also felt violently.

So how about dropping the thinking and turning towards the feeling. Yes the feelings are uncomfortable, sad and painful because they are an obvious reaction to the circumstances. This reaction is being felt physically in the body while thinking is trying vainly to suppress the pain. We have to go through the discomfort, pain and grief by allowing ourselves to feel it, to be with it, to experience it palpably. It is called mourning. It is a time when we integrate and reconcile into our system something that cannot be undone; never and ever. I choose this way, I choose to trust my body-it knows what to do and how to do it and I accept it. I am present with the grief, the pain and the cry. I am mindful of it and I find a relief in it.