Costa Women Blogs

NEW YEAR! NEW MAN! NEW LIFE! NEW BLOG! Hmmm… New Year – definitely – welcome 2018! New man – definitely – met dog walking; shared a cabin on a ship in Norway for 16 days; a motorhome rocketing along from Middle England to Southern Spain for 6; living together for 6 weeks now… New Blog – definitely!  What is a blog?  NO real idea but here I go – attempting to blog – so yes, that’s new too. New Life – ah well now here’s the thing – not exactly.  More my old life back.  Can I do that? Have my old life back…  Do I want to? Really?  Maybe this blog thing will help me sort that out… You see, I came to Mijas in 1987.  Newly engaged (although a fairly mature bride to be).  The result of one of those late night chats (not the engagement.  Mijas) “I don’t think I can live in the UK – when we get married shall we live somehwere else?”  He said that.  I quickly agreed. We’d spent 10 weeks together, over 10 months, when he asked me to marry him.  Desperately romantic.  Capri.  We spent our first real time together 4 months later.  We’d managed to see each other twice since the ring arrived.  Flew to Southern Spain.  Arrived at the Mijas hotel in a torrential, tropical storm.  February 1987.  My words to my Mother were “Well, if I’m back without the ring at least it will have been fun!” (you should see a pattern here – I’m a snatched moments type of gal). 2 months later we were back.  Ring still in palce.  Fabulous tan.  Down payment on the house paid.  Construction started 2 months later. In the December we were married.  Moved into our home in Mijas in July 1988.  Lived happily ever after for 16 years. Then the illness. Then the decision to move back to the UK.  2 children in tow, and the dog.  Our happy home, our wonderful friends – family by now and my invaluable support network – left behind. Then the shocking terminal diagnosis. Then the death. Then the decision to stay in the UK.  Keep the children stable.  Help from family.  Wonderful old friends from my former UK life stepped back in and made life bearable again. The beginning of a dream.  A hope.  A plan.  To one day come back and find my life in Mijas. So here I am.  13 years have gone by. Not exactly my old life.  The children have grown.  2017 I became an ’empty nester’.  But my home still stands.  It’s been poopulated by many a holiday maker but I’ll slowly reclaim it. I’m caught in a discovery of what my life used to be.  Who I used to be.  Driven by curiosity as to what form and shape I’ll take.  Supported by my old friends who’ve remained my family for the long UK years and who’ve helped keep my hope alive.  Already welcoming me back, drawing me home.  A brave and noble man, newly discovered, holding my hand, ready and ahppy to share my old/new space. And now a blog. Ready for this voyage of (re)discovery?  I’ll keep writing…  

What did Costa Women get up to in 2017?  The answer has to be loads!  Here’s some highlights of our monthly achievements and some of our successes.  Thank you for continued support – we couldn’t do it without you! January – We also launched ‘Spain & Me’ (stories from Costa Women living in Spain)  Don’t forget to download your free copy via this link. February – Started the ‘Costa Women Featured’ series again when over the course of the next 11 months we featured and Fiona and I interviewed 13 website members and shared these via Youtube videos.  In 2018, it could be YOU! Are you launching a new project, have an uber cool business idea, need support for your charity, book launch, or just want to spread your love of Spain on a live Zoom video?  Let me know by leaving a comment below, or emailing me to interview@costawomen.com March – For the first time, we have entered into sponsorship agreements with three fantastic companies; My Lawyer in Spain (11 offices around Spain) Currencies Direct (free currency transfers big and small) and Caser Seguros (all your insurance needs in Spain)  This has meant that I am no longer covering all the costs for hosting the website, newsletter, events etc. and its filled me with much gratitude.    Our biggest event was International Women’s Day Conference.  We were proud to collaborate once again with Jackie Groundsell of 1230 The Women’s Company. 90+ women join us at Andalucia Lab in Marbella. As part of our Conference, we raised money for Amusuvig Malaga (Asociación de Mujeres Superviviente de la Violencia de Genero) and Asociación Knitted Knockers Costa del Sol Keep 8th March in your diary for 2018 and book your tickets for this year here Took part for the third year running in the 5 x 50 challenge – (thanks Fran Rajewski)  If you want to get fit this year join us again this year! April – Thanks to our lovely group of volunteers, we started Costa Women meet ups in NEW locations:- La Cala de Mijas – thanks Sue Taylor Inland Business Networking (Coin) – thanks Pat Jay Benalmadena – thanks Caroline Whitaker Mijas Pueblo – thanks Inez Robinson Views from the Hills – thanks Jill Langhus-Griffin These new groups have extended our reach to 23 locations in total. If you want to meet other Women in your area, join the groups on the website and Facebook too. Check out where we meet up – Find a Meet Up in your area We appreciate that our hosts are volunteers and therefore sometimes life means that get too busy to organise regular events.  If you don’t see your location in the list and you would be interested to host, or co-host an event please let me know and we will see what we can arrange! It can be as simple as arranging a coffee morning, or glass of cava at a local bar in your area. In total Costa Women hosted 267 (more than double last year) events. For our Costa del Sol members, I have created a planner showing the coffee mornings and business breakfasts that will be taking place in January. May – Did a soft launch our Small Business Class Club  If you are interested to find out more here’s the information June – Held summer parties around Spain.  At our Costa del Sol Summer party raised money for both Acompalia and Asociación Knitted Knockers Costa del Sol July – Over the course of the year, you donated 11 sacks of clothes and items to Cudeca and AMUSUVIG Malaga. August – Set up Action August for the third year running.  Giving you daily challenges to get stuff done during the month. September – Costa Women celebrated our 7th year and we were excited to welcome the arrival of our 6000th member! Supported the Bulls Bike Challenge supporting Samaritans in Spain.  October – Nadine, our Barcelona host, collaborated with MumAbroad to organise ‘Taking Your Business to the Next Level’ Conference in Barcelona. Fiona and I were privileged to attend and meet some of the members in Barcelona.  The event raised money for ‘Anything for a Smile’ NGO. November – As part of Global Entrepreneur’s Week 10th anniversary we shared 16 videos for you to watch and get some tools and tips for your business and life. Thanks to all our speakers. Take your last chance to watch before they come down early January here Organised an informative event for new arrivals in Spain in Association with Mijas Townhall, Caser Seguros, Hola Bank, My Lawyer in Spain and Currencies Direct. Launched in Mijas and Axarquia a new Buddy Scheme for new arrivals.  More to follow in 2018! December –  Organised two Christmas Markets and made donations to Ángeles Malagueños de la Noche Through our KIVA group lent 15 enterpreneurs money through microloans to help them create their businesses and help alleviate poverty PHEW! As we close off 2017, lets celebrate the arrival of 1198 new members increasing our community to 6319 Women across Spain (or Women looking to relocate here). And thank you for:-  creating 159 Blogs about life in Spain and your thoughts and ideas – what to join our January blogging challenge?  Share your blog post (not shared elsewhere on another website) and we will vote for the most popular at the end of January!  adding 110 jobs and requests for work joining our monthly Photographic challenge – well done Sue Taylor on winner the overall prize for the year.  Join us next year through Costa Pics and Clicks Group creating 255 classified posts creating and joined one of our 140 interest groups for hobbies, ideas, projects, business, plus writing, photography and reading clubs, online groups for locations across Spain, and groups in different languages. We will be revamping the groups in 2018 so watch this space! Costa Women Were Featured You may have seen, read and listened to the 17 news articles, or interviews about Costa Women which appeared in Magic of Spain, Essential Magazine, RTV Marbella x 2 including the 150th show, Solkysten, Sur in English, Marbella news, INspanje.nl, Talk Radio Europe (x2), Marbella Now, ARD German TV, Euroweekly News, Marbella Rocks, I Want to Network, Jenny Garrett, Mijas Comunicación – thanks so much to our media supporters And an extra special mention to RTN Newspaper who have been running a series of interviews with Costa Women and our members too. Thanks to Sandie we have a regular article published in Key To Mijas Costa magazine And I hope you are enjoying the tips for living in Spain in the regular blog with Typical Non-Spanish  Connected on Social Media Our Facebook page broke the follow barrier this year and connects us to 8110 friends and followers Twitter Account – @costawomen is now followed by 7598 tweeps. Are you following us and also the list of Costa Women members? Our Linkedin Costa Women Entrepreneur’s group now has 272 members You are liking our images on Instagram too @costawomen with 521 followers And pinning our pins at Pinterest with 623 pinners including our Expat Women collaboration board.  Let me know if you want to be added We loved meeting you at events, on the website, via Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest and Instagram. Thank YOU Costa Women for creating 1000s of new connections and very happy memories. Here’s to an even bigger 2018 – watch this space! Ali x

2018 looms and with it a remind to get our health back on track.  Dentist appointments, health check ups and a desire to get fitter all come to the fore.  Medicare in La Cala have put together a guide about cervical screening and why its important to have regular check ups:-   WHY IS CERVICAL SCREENING SO IMPORANT IN WOMEN’S HEALTH   A Cervical Smear test is an important part of maintaining health for all women who have ever been sexually active. Some women may find the smear test uncomfortable or embarrassing and so may put off having one.   This examination only takes a few minutes and could save your life.   Annual smear tests reduce your risk of Cervical Cancer by 92%   In the UK alone it is estimated to save 1000 lives each year   80-90% of abnormalities are detected through regular smear tests, and can be treated early to Prevent Cancer   WHAT IS A SMEAR TEST?   In a Private room with a female nurse we will ask you to lie on an examination couch with a blanket over you. You will be asked to lie in position with you feet together and knees apart and a disposable plastic speculum will be inserted into your vagina. This holds the walls of the vagina open so your cervix can be seen. We will then use a tiny brush or spatula to gently scrape off a sample of your cervical cells. These cells are then smeared onto a glass slide to be sent to the laboratory. The speculum is then removed, with minimal discomfort within those few minutes.   WHEN IS IT BEST TO DO A SMEAR TEST?   The Department of Health recommends women between the ages of 25 and 64 years of age, have routine smears. In our opinion all women that are sexually active need to be screened regardless of age. It is best to schedule your smear for the middle of your menstrual cycle as it is easiest to get a good sample at this time. If you are menstruating it may be too difficult for us to get an adequate sample, or if you think you may be pregnant it is best for us to know, and we can test for this.   HOW ARE THE RESULTS GIVEN AND WHAT DO THEY MEAN?   After 7 to 10 days you will be recalled to the clinic to discuss your results. If there are abnormal cell changes, you will be referred for a follow up appointment. If the cells are clear, you will wait another year before re booking unless you have any concerns in the meantime. At Clinica Medicare all our cervical smear tests are performed by female nurses who are experienced in Women’s health.   We have negotiated a special rate for Costa Women members to have a “Well Woman Check” including:- Initial Consult, Cervical Smear, CA 125 Ovarian cancer screening, Mammogram or Ultrasound for €125.00 (a total saving of 55.00€)  When booking quote the code CW-Jan18. )  This would include a results appointment and the report on the Breast screening translated into English. The consultant would cover general health, Blood Pressure, BMI etc and gives the patient time to discuss any health concerns, current issues and the Clinic the opportunity to remind the patient about key health screenings.  This would be a a 1 hour appointment.    Contact Medicare Clinic in La Cala de Mijas to arrange your appointment: http://medicarenursingservices.com/index.php/en/contact-us-en

It’s certainly been an interesting year for us, mainly focusing on ourselves… making sure we are being loving, caring and trusting ourselves, clear on what we desire to further experience AND are open to receive what comes next.   A new home has been on top of our wish list for quite a while now. Hindsight teaches us that timing is of the essence and patience is a virtue AND in the meanwhile, to enjoy life in each moment, no matter what.   Next on our wish list has been to get together again with our family who live scattered around the world.   Eventually all wishes do come true with focused intention and patience. Around May we heard our children were flying to Europe, (from the caribbean) so we planned a last minute summer trip with our car… travelling to see everyone. We drove to Santander, caught the ferry to Portsmouth and drove up to the Midlands to spend quality time with our family before heading to Holland via Harwich/Hoek of Holland on the ferry to visit our dutch side of the family, friends and to meet up with our children.   How lovely it was to stand at Schipol airport and welcome our children and partners back to Europe. It had been quite a while and it was Alexanders first time this side of the world. After a few days we all flew to Croatia to enjoy some European sun and explore a new land.   It’s always great catching up with family and friends… Just being there with/for each other… celebrating life together in all its ups and occasional downs each day.   Our six week holiday flew by and we were soon travelling back through Europe to our sunny home in Spain. We continued our search for our new home and you can imagine our delight when we found a ground floor apartment that just about ticked all our wish boxes.   AND this friday, is the day we officially become owners and move in. IAM sure you can feel our relief and smile on our faces.   New beginnings are about to start that lead us into 2018 and a new wish list to make and bring in and experience. So watch our space for updates. You can sign up on the side and bottom panel of my website to receive my weekly blog  by email. To read about our/my life experiences AND ‘The Evolution of Consciousness’… how Humankind is awakening to realise who each truly is and take life in their own hands and be able to live a life of freedom and celebration… or not.   November 29th 2017, just before the clock struck midnight ZoeAnne presented herself to this world. We are so grateful for the  expansion of her loving presence in our family… and eagerly look in on the life of Richard, Ashley, Alexander & ZoeAnne and watch them walk on air and settle into new beginnings together.   We found some mistletoe in Madrid… So imagine you’re standing underneath it, receive a virtual hug and kiss from us AND make a grand wish for yourself. Click on to download this Free E-Book   Divine writing to inspire you this holiday season… As a passionate writer and advocate for ‘The Evolution of Consciousness’ I challenge myself and blogging friends each year to write about subjects that are close to our hearts.   This year the theme was Compassion and how each person perceives what Compassion is. 23 passionate friends and myself have created this beautiful collection of perceptions… that I know your heart and soul will resonate with and will help inspire you on your own Human journey to realise what life is all about and who you truly are.   You can either click on the above picture or this link Divine Books to Inspire You that will take you to my website for you to download  this Free E-Book.   You’ll also find 2 other Free E-Books we published in 2014 and 2016, A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part I and Part II for you to download too.   The rest of the books we have published for you to purchase… You just have to click on each front cover to go to purchase the one/s that resonate with you.   They make awesome gifts for YOU and your loved ones.     Writing Challenge 2018… If you would like to join next years challenge, please let me know and i’ll give you a date to send me your writing together with details of yourself and a new book/workshop/blog you would like to promote on my Guest Blogger Feature… Your Magnificent Self.   The Theme is: Consciousness vs Artificial Intelligence   We can all see the world polarising, as Love and Fear expands to the extremities. The drive to perfect society and the HumanBeing out of fear of annihilation has brought about AI that works as fast as lightening.   Yes faster than our Human Potential but faster than Divine Consciousness?   How do YOU choose to live? Do you have a choice? How can YOU as Consciousness take yourself to a place of experiencing ‘as fast as lightening’?   I do love a challenge. Thanks so much for your participation reading and writing about ‘The Evolution of Consciousness’.     Pictures of Our Year…            Barbara’s Creative Pursuits in 2017… This year my focus has been on the word Compassion and it has allowed me to expand my EXPRESSION in new and daring ways. Have you seen me on my facebook live? It took courage and vulnerability, the Human part of me was shy and had feelings of unimportance… but allowing my Divine self to air the show herself… I felt peaceful and have enjoyed creating this sacred space for myself and others to take some Quiet Me-Time and feel into the presence of pure LOVE… that we all essentially are.   What we talk about depends on my daily experience and goings on around the world… but it always has something to do with the grand change and shift of consciousness we are all going through… no exception… and allowing ourselves to open up to a new way of BEING and living a life of celebration… no matter what.   You can join me each Wednesday at 5 to 5 (Madrid UTC+2) in our New Earth Community facebook group that I have also created this year for everyone to come together and support and inspire each other with our creations… as we go through the great shift of consciousness and birth NewEarth from within. We are all teachers and students alike on our own unique journey… we can do it alone, but it’s so much more fun being together.   You can also subscribe to my UTube Channel and find all the replays to listen to.     My Non-Project Business… I’ve found time to focus on bringing 2 free local projects to others, in the New Year in Benalmadena.   Creative Art Project: The Magnificent ConsciousnessTo inspire our young children to sense the magnificent consciousness they are a part of and their essential role in life.   Relaxing & Creative Talk GroupTo help people look at MentalHealth & Chronic Pain with ‘Big Compassionate Eyes’. When we change our perception, we can change our circumstances!   You can read more about my projects and find out how you can help too…  here.     And so we leave YOU all to enjoy the End of another year and a New Beginning of 2018… Where we know magic can happen… if you choose to allow. I’ll be back writing in January. Take care.   Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & MasterCreatorInspiring New Energy Consciousness   A paperback and Digital Book is available from all Major online stores…Amazon and Apple   I share my own magical journey, exploring Who I AM with the help of nine Elemental Beings and expand from a world of fear, struggle and limitation into a New Energy Consciousness of love, grace and freedom. It is in this loving space that I discover my Divine and ALL LOVING self and allow myself to integrate together as one Body Consciousness… a DivineHumanBeing… and Magnificent Master Creator who expresses and creates heart and soul passion on the physical plane and beyond.           Join my MasterCreator Class and emerge yourself in the celebration of life through dance, song, art, relaxed inner journeys and beyond everything known… preparing yourself for your NEW role on New Earth. There is no time like the present moment to Sign Up and give YOURSELF this magnificent gift… More Info: MasterCreator Class           All the money raised from my books and classes go to my ‘Creative Art Project’ The Magnificent Consciousness that I bring to our little ones… inspiring them to explore, discover and express life and their part in it ALL.  

In my latest book Out Of Fear Into Love I describe the four specific limiting beliefs that cause life to be a struggle; beliefs such as I Need to Prove Myself which get in the way of a happy, successful life. Needing to prove means we’re doing the very opposite of accepting ourselves. Needing to prove means we: Put pressure on ourselves Speak to ourselves in harsh and unkind ways Tend to work too hard Blame ourselves personally for every little thing Constantly try to keep others happy Often struggle to be strong in the face of difficulties Try to do everything alone because we can’t accept we need help sometimes On the other hand, when we let go of the need to prove we begin to accept ourselves, we: Give ourselves a break Speak to ourselves in kind and loving ways Forgive ourselves and see the bigger picture Respect our own needs Work without struggle Allow ourselves to feel vulnerable Share our challenges with others; ask for help Which of those two lists feels better to you? I’m guessing the second one! The first list is all about living from a place of fear, the second is all about living from a place of self-love. And self-acceptance is one of the best ways we can practice self-love. From the moment we do so, we become stronger, happier and more confident because, well that’s what love does for people! Let’s take a look at three areas of your life that will improve when you start being more accepting: Self-Acceptance Will Make Your Relationships Much Better As I said in a recent post: The 90/10 Rule for a Happier Life the more focus we put on providing love for ourselves, instead of expecting others to provide it for us, the happier we can be. If you wait for others to offer you their approval, you can end up feeling rejected and unhappy; not because other people are mean, but simply because they’re human beings who have good days and bad days and their own needs to focus on. When you stop chasing after approval from others and start providing it for yourself, you’ll feel much more confident and at ease– that means you’ll feel more confident and at ease with others too – so your relationships will automatically improve. Self-Acceptance Helps With Your Work The world of work very often requires creative solutions to challenges and problems. When you try to push and prove yourself, you put yourself under stress. Then the part of your brain called the Amygdala (that controls the fight, flight or freeze response), becomes activated because it thinks you’re at risk in some way. It’s primary concern is to get you out of some perceived danger, so your ability to think creatively will simply freeze up because there are more important things to focus on! Have you ever had the experience of giving up trying so hard at something, then suddenly the answer seems to come out of nowhere? That’s your creative energy flowing; because you’ve relaxed and accepted yourself more, the amygdala has no need to put you into survival mode. Self-Acceptance Helps You Achieve Your Dreams The psychologist and founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, once made a very wise point. He said: ‘What you resist persists.’ When you try to resist those aspects of yourself you don’t like by judging and criticising yourself, saying ‘I’m no good,’ ‘I’m wrong,’ ‘I should do better,’ you’re just making those negative ideas about yourself seem bigger and more powerful, and therefore your sense of being able to achieve your dreams seems smaller. On the other hand, if you choose not to pay those thoughts much attention, they become less potent and so they simply can’t get in the way of your success. This all comes together beautifully. Because self-acceptance gives you better relationships, you’ll have more support to achive your dreams. And because self-acceptance enhances your creativity, you’ll be more successful – and all this means you’ll have more confidence to go ahead with your dreams. So practicing self-acceptance is a really good thing—it can change your life from struggle to freedom and happiness in a very short time. So how do we go about practicing self-acceptance? – it can be hard to just change our habits. Often the habit of self dis-approval is founded on limiting beliefs about our worth; beliefs formed way back in early childhood. Sometimes we need little help to let go of these limiting beliefs and painful experiences that are preventing us from accepting ourselves. We can do so by seeking help from a counsellor or therapist who has the skills and expertise. Would you like some one-to-one sessions with me?     I offer face-to-face counselling and therapy sessions for individuals and couples in Mijas Costa, Malaga  I also offer online sessions across the Costa del Sol and worldwide via Skype or Zoom  To get in touch  Give me a call on either: +34 602 489 656 +44 7429 440968 Or fill out the form at this link. I look forward to hearing from you and helping you.

Eating Turkey makes you sleepy! Or does it? Where does this seasonal myth come from and is there any truth to it?   Turkey is a protein and it contains a fairly high amount of the Amino Acid called ‘Tryptophan.’ Tryptophan is an essential Amino Acid, not one your body makes. You have to consume it.   Key information to know about where this myth comes from is as follows, just two points to know.  First Point: Tryptophan is used by your body to make Serotonin. ​Serotonin is part of what regulates your mood.  ​ Second Point: Our body makes Melotonin from Serotonin.  ​​Melotonin is the hormone that makes us sleepy. ​So you can see the importance of consuming Tryptophan in your diet. If your Tryptophan levels are not good then your mood can be affected. Low serotonin levels are linked with depression and anxiety.     Melotonin and serotonin are vitally important for your sleep and relaxation levels or the ability to relax. ​This is where the half truth around Turkey making you sleepy comes from.  Does that mean to eat lots of Turkey and you will feel both great and sleepy? Well, actually no, and actually in fact Tofu contains more Tryptophan than Turkey.  ​Final note on this myth about Turkey making you sleepy:It is true that eating Turkey gives you some Tryptophan.  It is also true that Tryptophan makes you feel relaxed and it is part of what makes Melotonin which is the sleepy hormone.  However, eating Turkey in itself is unlikely to be the cause of falling asleep after your Turkey dinner! It is far more likely to be simple, tiredness, overindulgence and excess carbohydrates which has the real sedating effect.      A key point here with this article is that the cause of irritability, mood swings and insomnia can simply be linked to nutrition factors such as Tryptophan lacking or not being processed effectively by your body.    If you are reading this and curious about how this information can help you either with your mood balance or with being tired all the time or difficulty sleeping then please contact me to help you. If you are having issues with sleep then your Tryptophan and nutrition generally should be something to examine rather than immediately reaching for sleeping pills or anti anxiety medication as the only solution. What I would do as a professional is seek for you to have a blood test. That blood test will tell us what is going on in your body with those essential nutrients that help you stay alert, sleep, keep calm, etc. Your Tryptophan levels will show in the blood test as well as your Serotonin levels. It is a very good place to start getting real answers into the symptoms you have been experiencing. I work alongside medical doctors and nutritionists where necessary and would refer you where helpful.  ​Clarity Therapy contact information is below.    Relevant links to read more about this topic: https://www.livestrong.com/article/336314-serotonin-vs-melatonin/ – This article explains all about Tryptophan, Serotonin & Melotonin   https://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/the-truth-about-tryptophan#1 – Medical Article about what is Tryptophan and what foods you get Tryptophan from.   https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201111/the-turkey-tryptophan-myth – UCLA professor article in ‘Psychology Today’ about the Turkey/Tryptophan myth.   http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/difference-between-essential-non-essential-amino-acids-9687.html – This explains about protein and what essential and non essential amino acids are.   https://www.healthaliciousness.com/articles/high-tryptophan-foods.php – Top 10 foods high in Tryptophan   https://costawomen.com/blogs/6357/1541/anxiety-is-not-just-in-your-head – My blog article here on Costa Women about anxiety being attributed to diet. There are many links with this article at the end.  Clarity Therapy Facebook Page                   Clarity Therapy Website                                                                  Twitter Page                                          Pinterest