Costa Women Blogs

Many of you will know what I am getting at here. 29 February is a day when tradition states that women can propose to their partners. (Of course these days we can do it any day of the year and in any year!)You may not know however that the partner was supposed to buy the lady a gift or 12 pairs of gloves if he refused! Gloves? Apparently to hide the fact she had no ring and I guess 12 because it’s a pair for each month! However, if your partner says “YES”, you might be letting yourself in for more than you bargained for. So, IF you are contemplating popping the question any time soon (or you suspect someone is about to propose to you) , you just might less exciting as it is want to consider the legal implications for you of either approach. I am an International Family Lawyer at The International Family Law Group LLP www.iflg.uk.com Please visit our website or better still come along to the Costa Women’s International Women’s Day Conference at Andalucía Lab, Marbella on Friday 11 March 2016. Some of you who attended last year might remember meeting me there . This year we are sponsoring the event and although I am very sad and disappointed to say I will not be coming along this year my colleague, Lucy Loizou will be attending in my stead and would be happy to answer any of your questions either there or if more appropriate, subsequently. Please make her feel as welcome as you did me. I thoroughly recommend the conference. Last year’s was absolutely great, really relaxed, friendly and enjoyable (and I knew no-one before I went), but I came away very energised and motivated.

Welcome February 2016, this is certainly a year full of high vibrational energy that continues to bombard our low density home on Mother Earth and our old way of living. It is shaking everything and everyone up to feel our core and choose in the quietness of the conscious breath how each of us wants to live our life. It is of the utmost importance that we each find a way to make ourself feel safe and grounded and maintain the courage to go after our dreams and be our most Magnificent Self… NO MATTER WHAT. During the last 3 years, I have made many magnificent friends here on WordPress where we continue to INSPIRE each other with our storytelling. This month I have put up a February Challenge for my friends and I to write each day about our AWAKENING experience and where we find ourselves now on our journey of self-realisation and freedom. There are still some places left on the schedule for you to join us and write about your journey, so please contact me. When we are aware of our own existence, aware of both the light and the darkness that we each ultimately are, we can begin to relax into our Body Consciousness (body, mind and spirit); All that we are and create our heart and soul’s desire in the heart of life.   My above quote explains to me that ‘AWAKENING’ ultimately allows each of us to know or perceive… the truth of who we truly are… both Human and Divine… a multi-dimensional being who chooses in each moment to live and celebrate life in a joyous and loving way on the Earth plane and beyond. Barbara’s Awakening Experience For many years in my awakened state I have felt the natural integration of my Divine body and mind coming together as one with my Physical body and mind… that continues gradually and gently to this day. This allows me to live a most enlightened life… even when IAM in the midst of relationships and circumstances that reflect old patterns/parts of the Human game that I have chosen to no longer be part of, but allow them to be my gifts, in order that I may complete my transformation… to my translucent and crystalline DivineHuman self and bring about my vision of a harmonious and peaceful New Earth. The full story of my Awakening, Integration and Enlightenment can be read in my recently published book Your Magnificent Self… A Journey to Freedom that is available from all major online bookstores. Links are available on my website http://memymagnificentself.com  What I want to write for this post is a more detailed account of how IAM allowing my darkness to come up to the surface that is ready for release. Since moving to Benalmadena in 2014, Tom and I have felt so happy and met some wonderful friends, walked many miles exploring the beautiful rugged coastline, found a wonderful ‘low carbohydrate’ eating life style and have been inspired to pursue our creative passions. One of my passions has been to write, illustrate and publish my first book Your Magnificent Self… A Journey to Freedom and IAM now busy writing and illustrating with my grandson a children’s version… Me, My Magnificent Self. One of the endings I write in my book are the words…   I will continue to dissolve everything that no longer serves me… distil all my Human life experiences into wise and passionate essence… absorb all my physical biology into my new crystalline structure… and gracefully attract and bring in appropriate energies to help me live a most magnificent and balanced life here on Earth. 
 As this is indeed what I have been experiencing this last year, I would like to share it here with you. Where I find myself Now on my Journey of Self-Realisation and Freedom… My book is published and what a great book launch I had with the support of many magnificent friends, locally on the Costa Del Sol and online around the world…. I remain ever grateful to all the love, trust and ongoing reviews and marketing shares that continue to help bring my own true love story into the world to inspire others to realise their own true potential. However, when my launch was all over, I began to get quite emotional about some situations I found myself in. It didn’t really occur to me that it was anything to do with me… afterall I was on a roll, achieved so much after realizing my freedom…even while experiencing physical grief with my own ‘perception of BEAUTY’. I was talking to my husband and friend about the unpleasant circumstances that were playing out in front of me and decided to write a blog post about it, as writing always inspires me to see the truth of what is happening. The gist of my post was about being quiet and allowing myself to observe a situation and choose to respond either as ms amazing (my Divine self) or ms miserable, (my Human self). I thought no more about it and celebrated Christmas and New year with my family in England and prepared for our winter holiday visiting our children and grandchild in the Caribbean. After a good flight we arrived safely in St Maarten and were greeted by our whole family. It wasn’t long this first day that my confrontation began and I found myself in the depth of an unpleasant circumstance that I saw playing out in front of me. I couldn’t believe it and I observed myself sink into the role of ‘poor me’ as I began complaining, feeling hurt and stamping my feet. Because I was consciously observing this happening, I didn’t allow myself to wallow in the victim role for too long. I sensed it went very deep and was a continuation of the situation back home and I needed to pay attention because I knew deep down it was very much everything to do with me. In a quiet moment I asked my Divine self to help me understand what was happening… and sure enough, without much delay information flooded into my consciousness/awareness. When I first made my choice to be free of the struggle and limitation of the Human Game, I automatically gave myself permission to release everything that no longer served me and in particular the parts of me that were embedded deep within. What I had begun to physically experience, the circumstances and relationships around me, were all reflecting back to me past memories buried very deep, coming up to the surface for release.  I knew it wasn’t about my falling back into the game of judgment and doubt, it was about loving the parts of myself that had been terribly broken and feeling betrayed and unloved. It was about me embracing All of my darkness and feeling joyful in the acceptance of All of myself. Accepting all the roles I had ever played, the roles I lost, as well as won because they were all part of my very existence. The remaining broken, betrayed and unloved parts of myself were ready for release and were playing out on the surface of my physical reality, waiting for me to be aware… accept… and embrace. What was happening was much more than my choosing to be ms amazing or ms miserable, it was for me to truly perceive and understand how my Divine self; the inner core of my Human physical self is always reflecting my physical reality and for me to truly acknowledge and embrace my broken, betrayed and unloved parts that are now ready to be released and transformed into new potential for myself. IAM after all a Master Creator who vibrates everything IAM into my existence. This is why it is so important I imagine and be my highest feeling of love, joy and abundance for it to manifest in my life…. NO MATTER WHAT. So I say a big thank you to this circumstance, to the person who ultimately gave me this precious gift of experience and expanding my freedom by showing me my broken, betrayed and unloved past so that I could embrace it and release it. More space and freedom to bring in new potential to play, have fun and create with in the New Energy Consciousness that exists in each conscious moment. Please enjoy this month of inspiring true awakening experiences… and if you would like to join us and share your true story, please check the schedule for open dates and let me know and I’ll include you. Tomorrow you can go over to Michaels blog and read about where he finds himself now on his journey of Self-Realisation. Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & Master Creator memymagnificentself.com ‘Consciousness expands and Humankind takes a quantum leap into the unknown as they discover how to go beyond seduction, limitation, the ailing and ageing body and the death trigger. They enjoy living and creating as Loving DivineHumanBeings in a time-less space of freedom and an expanding field of potential where they experience rejuvenation, abundance and an infinite flow of pure love and joy.’ ‘Allow my DivineHuman story to resonate with your heart and soul, and transcend you beyond religion, science and spirituality into the depths of your own Magnificent Consciousness; the timeless and sacred space of infinite potential’. Barbara Franken, DivineHuman Master Creator Purchase the Book from Amazon

I enjoy having breakfast at a local café. When I am in the south of Spain I sit outdoor looking at palms and absorbing the warmth of sunshine. It is so lovely that a feeling of laziness descents on me and fills every cell of my body with a wish to be there as long as I can, just be embraced and soaked in this wonderful state. And then a long list of tasks for the day and week is miraculously unfolding before my eyes and I am being kicked by some sense of duty, responsibility and obligations to finish the breakfast, to get up and get into action, stop being this lazy person. I can negotiate five minutes longer, but I finally get up torn between duty and pleasure. I suppress the longing for this laziness and follow my dutiful me. It can get really hard.   Anyway this is how I used to approach this challenge. But I have acquired another way now, and I use it sometimes. I allow myself to be in the state of laziness. I allow myself to surrender to that feeling of not wanting to do anything, just to stay where I am and enjoy the present moment. I am mindful of my laziness, I soak in it I become it. And then it naturally moves and says: thank you for a lovely meeting, and it lets me do all the things from the list without this struggle and feeling of pressure. My laziness got the attention and acknowledgment it needed and now it let me do the other things without any protests. There is a benevolent and gentle power in mindfulness.

I want to have a result. And I want this result to be valued as good and positive, to be a success. When it doesn’t happen, when the outcome of my efforts and work is not what I wanted I get disappointed. I feel disappointed, unhappy and useless. It is not a comfortable and pleasant feeling so I do anything to run away from it. I will go shopping. I will eat a half of a cream cake. I will drink too much wine or train too much. I will blame everybody and everything around me. I can even climb Kilimanjaro to get away from that disturbing feeling of being a failure. But whatever I do this nagging voice will not disappear. So I have to treat it in a different way. I have to face it. I chose to sit with it in a quiet and safe space of meditation. I allow it to come out. I allow myself to feel it. I concentrate on feeling it not on judging it. And instead of running away from it I allow it to move through me, through my body. In the space of meditation I don’t need to suppress or deny it, I can be honest about what I really feel and accept it unconditionally. I can relax and watch what is happening. This posture of not taking any action, of having no intention, only witnessing is very relaxing and cleansing. And so refreshed after meditation I can go back to my daily pursuits, tasks and plans. Only that this time I don’t focus so much on the result, but I pay a lot of attention to the process, I experience it. I am in it. The result becomes a natural, organic part of the process and I allow it to be.

In 2003 we packed our bags and headed for Spain.  WHY?  you might say.  Here´s my story. For 10 years, we run a successful chauffeur business back in the UK and sadly when 911 hit, it affected our clients in many ways.  Most of our business was based in London and with Arab countries.  The work just dried up, chauffeurs were not required and companies were using cheaper options for travel.  So it was time to decide how we were going to cope with a large 3 bed semi, mortgage and top of the range cars to pay for, a very worrying time especially with two little ones growing up.  We were watching the TV one evening when the kids were tucked up in bed and up popped an advertisement “looking for families to re-locate?”  both me and Barrie looked at each other and going through our minds at the same time was “what have we got to loose”.  So the following day we put together a video…so funny, could not stop laughing and trying to get a 4 and 5 year old to sit still for long enough was not easy.  Off we sent the video and we waited. A few months or so went by and we got a phone call – “hi we are from the BBC and received your video, how would you like to be part of our new programme? GET A NEW LIFE” Oh I was lost for words, of course I would love to be part of it.  So it started, they turned up on the doorstep one morning and filmed us for the next 6 weeks organising our life around making such a big change.  How was I going to tell my MUM, she was my main concern, losing my dad 3 years earlier and then going through breast cancer, I really did not know how she was going to react.  At the time my focus was on my family and giving us the opportunity to gain so much by moving to a different county.  We were struggling and when you are faced with the thought of losing your home and everything around you, you take action.   As much as I loved my MUM, I knew over time she would understand I know she did not like me for a while, who could blame her, her baby was moving thousands of miles away and taking her grandchildren.  I tried to make it a little easier by saying that after a month we may decide to come back.    We said our emotional farewells to friends and family, got on that plane and have not looked back.  Yes it has not been easy, lots of ups and downs, I certainly  would not change anything.  We have two bilingual children who were put into a foreign school where they did not speak the language, they did not know anyone, what was we thinking.  Thankfully they are amazingly great and gained so so much and are part of our community, how proud are we.  It felt so good to say that were were staying in Spain, even then myself and Barrie knew it was the right move for us and for the children. MUM and of course Barrie´s MUM and DAD visited regularly so do other family and friends.  Sadly in 2013 my MUM passed over losing her fight against Lung Cancer.  Deep down I know that she is now by my DAD´s side they were meant to be together in the end.  My two beautiful Angels up above.    They shine their light down daily guiding us in all we do. 2008 was when I became attuned to Reiki, my Master at the time Julie Lomas told me that I may not stay with Reiki, it will take me on a journey of discovery.   That discovery was finding MYSELF.   Today, I am now a Reiki Master and love how it has taught me so many things in life and how to appreciate what is around me.  I am truly thankful for every day and the journey that I am being taken on. 2010 became the year that I knew my children were growing and I could do something for myself, they were not so reliant on me, of course I am still the taxi service and everything a mum is about.  So I started to focus my attention on making my own soaps and skincare, sourcing natural ingredients and essential oils, always keen to learn and making mistakes along the way, oh what fun it was.  I firstly made them for friends and family.  I think they were taken aback as my creative skills were flowing, not really being into art, I love all things creative and this is where it all falls into place.   How time flies, today, I am still making and creating and still loving every minute, my passion is skin and I am confident that using my range of products your skin will benefit.  In November 2014 we launched our website http://vidanaturalskincare.com I had great fun putting it together, planning pages and getting the pictures right, a brilliant experience,  enjoy visiting. I would like to thank all my clients from my heart who use my skincare range and who have faith in me and what I do.  I would not be where I am today without YOU.  OUR skin is PRECIOUS take care of it…..x If you are faced with a tough decision in life and an opportunity arises.  Take it….Go for it…..What have you got to lose……Face your fear…..You never know what´s around the corner…..Feel It Inside….The Universe will guide YOU. I hope my little blog gives you some inspiration to turn your life around. Thank you for reading my BLOG xx If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.  file:///Users/jilly/Desktop/12004831_10153698187719744_720978702449558750_n.jpg

I teach meditation and mindfulness. It is a bit like teaching swimming. It is experiential. Practice is very important in acquiring it. It is learned by doing not by reading about it. You only need curiosity and interest in meditation to start. Meditation does not demand any particular posture, or special clothing. You don’t need to grow a beard or dreadlocks. You don’t need to be a religious person or a vegetarian. Meditation is about non thinking, but it doesn’t mean that you will stop thinking and become a fool. It means that you will learn how to use your intelligent, thinking mind when you need it and let is stop bothering you when you don’t need it. You will get more space to move in. Meditation will expand your life. You will get more aware of signals and messages communicated by your body. These signals are so easily ignored and suppressed. So how do we do it? The first and simplest exercise in mindfulness meditation is scanning the body. We focus our attention on the kinesthetic sense, feeling and sensing what is happening in the body, and we do it without judgment, without giving any name or adjectives to it. We allow for what is there to be there. It sounds very simple, but in reality it turns to be quite difficult, because habitually we never do it. We engage the thinking process automatically, so we have to learn and train how to keep that switched off. By leaving the thinking process unattended, we stop noticing it, stop feeding it. And it simply quiets down. That’s how and where it starts. You don’t really need a teacher to do it, but it is helpful to practice it with somebody who will gently remind you to pull your attention away from thoughts towards the present. It may be as enjoyable and useful as learning to swim.