Costa Women Blogs

Back in October I blogged about how I came to write my latest novel SANTIAGO TALES and where the idea had come from.  Now, at last, I have published it as a Kindle ebook.   Writing a novel is the easiest part for me.  The hard work comes when your work has to be edited, and repeatedly proof read.  Luckily I have a few kind friends who are always willing to help with the proof reading but it never ceases to amaze me how easily simple typos and spelling mistakes are overlooked.  Most of my books get read a dozen times before they are ready to publish   A fellow author and member of Costa Women, Karen McCann, also kindly gave me an endorsement for the book.  You can read it below: ‘Joan Fallon’s new book, Santiago Tales, lets you walk 790 kilometres in the shoes of a modern-day pilgrim on the ancient Way of St. James across northern Spain. Her book illuminates the entire experience, from bedbugs and blisters to the camaraderie of the hostels and long days of solitude and contemplation. A must read for anyone considering walking the Camino, or for armchair travellers who want to immerse themselves in the 1000-year-old traditions of this spiritual journey.’   Karen McCann, author of ‘Dancing in the Fountain’ I will be publishing a paperback edition of SANTIAGO TALES at the end of the month.  This will be available on Amazon and in bookshops. So many thanks to all my friends and acquaintances who made this book possible and I hope they are looking forward to the next one.

Having the inner wherewithal to choose your attitude at all times is a recipe for well-being. If you know that no matter what the circumstances, you will be capable of choosing an attitude that maintains your own inner well-being or balance, you know that nothing – but absolutely nothing – that comes your way will have the ability to throw you. But most people can’t do this. The main reason is because very few people in our culture tell us about this way of living when we are growing up. And then, of course, once we have grown up, we are convinced that it is otherwise. In other words, that our attitude is determined by our circumstances. If things are gong well, we are happy. If they are not, we are most definitely not happy. And that’s it. But there are those others, over the millennia, that have propagated another kind of thinking. Not everyone is aware of them, not everyone has paid attention to them, but they are out there and have been out there for those whose eyes are open since the beginning of time. Here is their message: being conscious and aware of yourself at all times, as well as accepting responsibility for yourself and your inner state at all times, allows you to choose your attitude in the face of any kind of situation at all.  You’ll need to have a brief dialogue with yourself if you wish this to take root in your life. The brief dialogue needs to be held when a situation falls into your life that would normally render you unhappy, fearful, stressed, frustrated, angry, or impatient, judgmental, critical or self-aggrandizing. Add to that list any other descriptive that you care that lies on the negative side of the emotional continuum we are all subject to, and then realize that whether or not you go in that direction – will from now on depend entirely on you and not on your circumstances – if you practice being so. The dialogue might go like this: such-and-such has happened this normally makes me feel unhappy or have this __________________ attitude but I have a choice about how I feel do I wish to feel unhappy or have this ________________________ attitude about it? no I don’t so if I have a choice, what might be a better attitude or feeling to have? I could choose to remain calm I could choose to find a place of inner balance before I decide what to do I could choose to look at this as a learning experience There are many variations on this theme, but they all come down to one common denominator: it is up to you. It is your choice. And that is how simple it is. Obviously it requires practice – but then so do most things that are worthwhile attaining. It was Victor Frankl who said: the last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. And he said this after having survived Auschwitz … For more about being aware of your choices prior to deciding on an attitude or feeling, and of making conscious choices that will enhance your life and promote greater inner peace and freedom, have a look at my book Rewiring the Soul: Finding the Possible Self (paperback or Kindle). To download the first chapter, click here To see the Table of Contents click here Also see my special Christmas Bonus offer with gifts for YOU here From the Description on Amazon: Ask anyone, whatever their circumstances, if their life is vibrant, fulfilling, harmonious and happy. An honest reply is likely to be ‘no’, because to answer a truthful ‘yes’ is no mean feat. Only to grow psychologically and emotionally is not enough. And only to grow spiritually is not enough either. All three dimensions need to be developed in order to realize your full potential. If you are willing to assume total responsibility for the self and to start what is an on-going journey, you will quickly begin to glimpse the first fruits of the ultimate goal: inner well-being, freedom, peace, harmony and joy. This book sets out the pathway to self-mastery and self-discovery and walking that pathway will be the most exciting adventure of your life. My new book The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is now also available in print and Kindle formats. To download the first chapter, click here To see the Table of Contents click here From the Description on Amazon: More exciting than any other kind of relationship you have ever known, spiritual partnership is a path, a Tao, available to you so that you may transform your life. Spiritual partnership becomes background music to daily life allowing you to enhance the process of your growth and evolution. This ground-breaking book addresses: • relationship patterns that hold you back from a truly fulfilled life• the strong connection between sexuality and spiritual partnership• communication leading to true connection & lasting transformation of your relationshipIt is precisely at the problematic crossroads so often encountered in relationships that we are offered the opportunity to create a new foundation based on mutual complementarity rather than need; a free relationship between two people who want to be together, rather than two people who need to be together. Needing another, we are told, is the measure of love, but for a fully conscious individual nothing could be further from the truth. And therein lies part of the secret and healing power of spiritual partnerships.  Praise for The Tao of Spiritual Partnership “All humans seek the illusive touch of another’s Soul, which opens us to the sense of belonging to something bigger than the self. Dr. Kortsch has given us the true “tao” of relationship in this brilliant exploration of emotional tapestry. We will be grateful for this illumination of spiritual partnership for generations to come.” Chris Griscom: Spiritual Leader, Author “Eloquently and comprehensive, showing how your primary love relationship may be a sacred vessel that transports you and your partner to a place of mutual healing and expansion.” Robert Schwartz: Author of Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born “The Tao of Spiritual Partnership is a unique blend of wit and wisdom; Dr. Kortsch encourages us to take responsibility for our relationships, while recognizing and seizing the opportunities for our own personal spiritual growth.” William Buhlman, Author of Adventures Beyond the Body  *********************************** Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D., CHT Author: Rewiring the Soul  (2011) & The Tao of Spiritual Partnership (2012) Blogs: http://RewiringtheSoul.com / http://TaoofSpiritualPartnership.com Web: www.advancedpersonaltherapy.com / www.terapiamarbella.com + 34 952 929 071 —  Marbella, SPAIN Psychotherapist: English   /   Español   /   Deutsch

2012 has been filled with wonderful ingredients, aromas, tastes and flavours that go into making the multicultural community of Women that IS Costa Women.  Looking back over 2012 I wanted to share with you the Costa Women achievements in which you have all played a part.    Putting the recipe together Since 1st January 2012 we have been joined by 885 new members from all different parts of Spain, the Islands and Women who have Spain as part of their life goals.  Thank you so much for sharing the Costa Women community with your Friends and Contacts.   We met 51 of our members via the weekly interviews In the summer we launched a competition for you to share What does Costa Women mean to You?– we announced Danisa Poppleton as the best entry.  Here is a copy of her video – Nosotros Costa Women My goal for 2013?  To double our current membership to 3,000 members in total by 31st December 2013 – please help me by recommending Costa Women to your friends.   New Flavours We have launched Costa Women events in 5 new locations in 2012 with new hosts and organisers.  A very special thank you to our hosts and organisers Marina Nitzak (Marbella), Lucy Gabzdyl (Sotogrande), East of Malaga with Views from the hills! (Lynsey Drake), Granada (Molly) and Barcelona (Anja R Vedal).  We have also been joined by Ashlyn Watts who runs OCIO E.S.W.I.B. (English Speaking Women in Business)  Ashlyn has migrated her events and organisation that meet East of Malaga to the Costa Women platform. These Ladies have all supported the Costa Women ethos and created friendly evenings for new and existing members to attend, connect, share and be part of the party.  A new group in Fuengirola will also be launched in January. If you want to start a new Group in your area please contact me (costawomen@gmail.com)   We held two purely Business Networking events and were joined by Annabel Kaye from the UK who shared about thriving in business during a recession.   Giving of Gifts Our charitable efforts have enabled Costa Women to give 460€ to Cudeca (a local hospice charity) and help two families who lost their homes in the Malaga Fires by raising 530€ for the Doran Family and raising 380€ for Susan Holloway and Andy – over 1000€ in total.   Aromas and Tastes You shared 345 stories, thoughts and ideas under Blogs You created 292 new discussions under the Forums You made 34 new Groups for interests, hobbies and business ideas You created, attended and have been part of over 700 events   On Social Media We now have 1169 followers on Facebook 2133 followers on Twitter @costawomen as well as 362 members listed @costawomen/costa-women Costa Women were mentioned by Telegraph Expat as one of the Top 20 resources and/or useful expat advice for Expats   New ideas in the mix We launched the job pages, gave classifieds its own page as well as creating a dedicated Business Directory for you to share your product or services.   What’s cooking for 2013 And in 2013…. watch this space; Costa Women never stand still. Bring it On!   Happy 2013 and happy new You!   Ali x

physical spiritual and mental wellbeing is the answer for women breadwinners This weekend I went for a twilight spa with my best girlfriends at Aqua Sana atCentre Parcs.  So much organising needed to be done to make sure it happened, sorting child-care, family commitments, times and locations, who was going to drive, but it was so worth it.  As we sat in the various sauna and steam rooms, we felt our inner and outer well-being increase and a release of all of the anxieties and irritations of every day living. Not to mention a good dose of healthy gossip! I know that as a result we went back to our families and friends better people. Have you noticed any signs recently that things aren’t going right for you as female breadwinner? They could be physical- manifesting in breakouts or hair falling out. Perhaps they are cropping up in your relationship with your partner via heated arguments. Or maybe your work is suffering because you have no time to develop in your career. Whatever the signals, I have the answer. Investing in your physical, mental and spiritual health is the key to combating all these problems. Before you dismiss this as airy-fairy, hear me out. When you feel healthy, happy and revitalised doesn’t everyone around you benefit too? Your family, friends and work colleagues – don’t they get lifted by your ambient mood? Compare this to when you are just getting by, stressed and unhappy; snapping at people and feeling overburdened. I know who I’d prefer to live with! What makes you energised, fulfilled and relaxed? Perhaps you don’t even know anymore because you haven’t thought about it in so long! You might think sacrificing your needs is the only way to make being the main earner in your household work but this is a mistake. Investing in you is a far more effective method. In my book Rocking Your Role: the ‘how to’ guide to success for female breadwinners I provide a framework based on reflections and actions that can help you to take care of yourself in the present in order to avoid a painful derailment of work and family life later on. Here are five simple things you can try today: Enjoy the moment – you can spend a lot of time rushing from one place to the other, but how about enjoying the moments in between? There are gaps of time, when you may be travelling or waiting. I have ninety minutes on Saturday mornings where my daughter is in a class, I love this time and use it to wander around window shopping, read my book or have a coffee and watch the world go by. There are many more sensible things I could do, like the weekly food shop, or catch up on my work, or rush home and clean the house, but I choose to prioritise me during that time and it sets me up for the weekend. When are the moments that you could enjoy? Stilling the mind – meditation, mindfulness, focusing, yoga, are all great ways of quietening the mind in order to feel a sense of calm and control. If you notice that you are beginning to get irate over small things that wouldn’t have bothered you previously, this is probably what you need. You can invest in audio and video recordings so that you can do this at home, or attend classes. Some coaches, like me, provide enlightenment coaching, which incorporates meditation, to help clients to clear their mind and centre themselves before the talking starts. Most activities can be done in as little as five minutes; the time it takes to make your morning coffee. If you don’t do this, small things will send you off the edge. Meditation, boot camps, spas and dog walks can all help. Professional and personal development – the process of learning something new will keep you feeling fresh and curious about life. This can be investing in an industry publication, reading books like this one, engaging a coach or mentor, perhaps even attending a training programme or conference. If you are self- employed you have more freedom; schedule a day a quarter for your personal development, whatever that is for you. Alternatively, there is a wealth of material on the internet you can access and a range of online courses that you can engage with at your own pace. Exercise – getting your heart pumping and your body moving circulates the oxygen around your body and contributes to your sense of happiness as well as health. Build exercise into your life; it doesn’t have to be two hours at the gym each day unless that is what you like to do. It can be walking up the escalator rather than just standing on it, walking in the park, playing on the games console with your children, going cycling as a family, attending yoga classes, dance classes, sport classes like karate, boxing, badminton, purchasing an exercise machine or just a skipping rope or hula hoop. The list is endless and as easy as you want to make it. Eat well – a good combination of healthy and nutritious food is important to keep your body and mind processing at its best. Even if you are in a rush, there are many healthy options available to you, like good soups packed with nutrients and energy packed salads. Don’t overdo the stimulants like coffee and alcohol which will adversely affect your metabolism. There’s nothing wrong with treats, just try to take the healthy option 80% of the time. You might think by appearing to be coping you are bolstering women kind – showing the world that women aren’t meek and unreliable. But you are putting a burden on yourself and the generation of female breadwinners that are following your lead. This façade will set them up to fail because it is impossible to accomplish – something has to give when you are trying to do it all. If you want future female main earners to have a good sense of well-being, to feel physically and mentally healthy then you should place these things high on the agenda for yourself. So take care and relish the difference it makes to your world. Let me know how you get on. I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com

On a Personal Note:   Gratitude is everything.  I am always pleasantly surprised as to how far a grateful heart can go, and there is always a sense of awe in watching how much generosity is actually going on around our world, despite of what gets disseminated in the news.   We hear a lot about the Law of Attraction, and yet, we attract what we are in alignment with, and gratitude, with a sense of giving and receiving, puts you in a great place of allowing the miracles of attraction to happen.  Don’t force it, don’t make it happen, just be yourself and be aligned with who you really are.  All else will fall into place.  Keep a grateful heart.     Featured Article:   Are you winning yet?    There seems to be a constant struggle between Impulse and Ambivalence, Intellect over Emotions and Reason over Intuition.   With so many choices, how do you make the right decisions?  How do you know you are winning at meeting your goals, your desires, your timelines, and your successful outcomes? It’s all about making the right decisions and ALWAYS taking action towards those decisions.   You may ask:   What is Impulse and how important is it in your decision-making process?  Impulse is an action characterized by lack of thought.  In other words, “acting without thinking.”   What is Ambivalence?  Uncertainty or fluctuation, simultaneous desires to say or do two opposite or conflicting things. In other words, “inability to make a choice.”   What is Intellect over Emotions?  There are circumstances when Intellect must override Emotions; however, Emotions make for more than 50% of the decisions!  How do you balance that?   What is Reason over Intuition?  Reason is the love child of Intellect and yet, most powerful and successful decisions come from the Intuition! Remember when you found yourself uncertain as to what the right decision was during a critical period of your life?  Was it about a relationship that had to end?  Or was it about having a difficult conversation with a parent?  Perhaps deciding to give up something you really wanted to serve the greatest good?  Whatever it was, you remember….and….it is indelible in your mind.   Making the right decisions is one of the formulas for success.  Waiting for the right time, is seldom the answer.  Most success stories are based on people acting quickly on their feet, regardless if originally, it was the wrong decision for them.  The more you exercise your decision-making muscle, the more your chances of success.  And yes, sometimes failure is success turned inside out!   CONSIDER:   ¨      What holds you back when making a decision? ¨      What causes Impulse over Vacillation to take over or vice-versa? ¨      When is Action better than No Action? ¨      Do you wait until you say:  “Enough is enough?” ¨      Do you act before you get to that point? ¨      Do you weigh your options? ¨      Do you follow your intuition?   Winning comes down to the process of moving forward and the anticipation of growth-experience.   OPTIONS:   ¨      Impulse can get you into quick action; can also get you into quick-sand. ¨      Ambivalence can save you from making a catastrophic decision; it can also prevent you from taking advantage of opportunities. ¨      Intellect can give you precise answers. ¨      Reason can say “wait.” ¨      Intuition can guide the way.    ACTION PLAN:   ¨      First, dig deep and find out what your learning style is.  Even if you know it already, it may have changed through the years.   ¨      Develop “in writing” the process that is unique to your way of thinking.  Remember, not one size fits most! ¨      Know that this process is subject to emotional circumstances; however, the essence of your thinking-process usually remains consistent. ¨      Think in a “moving-forward” fashion. ¨      Find a brainstorming buddy to help you find clarity when you are in the middle of a major decision and can’t make up your mind. ¨      Be willing to embrace change.  Meaningful, subtle, transitional and even permanent CHANGE!  It adds spice to your life. ¨      Find joy in anticipating all growth experiences.  Expect them. ¨      Ambivalence and inability to act is sometimes caused by too much to do.  ¨      Eliminate your to-do list.  Instead, schedule activities in your calendar as a done-deal.  That way, one less thing to think about, and brings you closer to your winning state of success. ¨      Motion creates emotion.  Keep on moving.  Even if sometimes is not necessarily forward, but sideways!  (However, never backwards!) ¨      Be proud of everything you do. ¨      Be proud of everything you are. ¨      Be proud!  (Period.)     This is where you get to answer:  “Are You Winning Yet?” http://AliRodriguez.com/blog – I want to hear from YOU! ———————————————————————————— Ali R. Rodriguez   If you would love to reprint this article, you have my permission as long as no changes are made to the text and you insert this entire bio box in the closing.    Ali helps professionals fuse passion with profits, monetize their expertise, and create a lifestyle to match. Ali’s multi-lingual and multi-cultural background adds diversity to her coaching style and to her business and marketing programs. She shares her extensive knowledge through the written word alongside best-selling authors in the book Mastering the Art of Success discussing strategies for achievement. Her focus is on growth, personal development and amazing bottom-line success.     Ali R. Rodriguez International Coach, Passionista Leader and Intuitive Activist http://AliRodriguez.com (386) 676-6706

As expats we have probably done our fair share of reinvention – living in a completely new country, surrounded by new sights, sounds and smells, new language(s), culture and even food that can bring about change both in our lifestyle and our attitude to living.   People choose to reinvent themselves for all manner of reasons – because they are unhappy with where they are, or their business isn’t generating the rewards it should.  Because of a need to keep up with what is happening in the business world around them, or something isn’t working for them, financially, emotionally, or environmentally.   First choose!  Unless you are committed to changing something, nothing will change.  Sounds a bit obvious, but it’s amazing how part of you may be niggling about not wanting to change anything. Really you like it how it is and you are “comfortable” with the habit, or the easier life.   Making a change may appear to be very difficult and involve a lot of stepping into the dark and jumping out of that plane freefalling before the parachute (if there is one!) kicks in.     Waiting for the “how” will paralyse you into doing nothing!  “How” can be such a big word which represents something so daunting when its actually only three letters.  “How” can come later so lets replace the H of how with an N and start with NOW     If you really aren’t sure about taking the first step, then this exercise may help with your decision-making.  Start by creating a square with four sections on a piece of paper, or your computer.  In the first box write what you want to change.  In the next box write why?  In the third box what happens if you don’t change and in the final box write “the future” once you make the change. Now you have your thoughts, use this to drive your decision forward.    Next create a time plan of how you will make the change, broken down into smaller chunks; small bite-size pieces so it doesn’t seem such a daunting task.  Spend time on this part as it will be your plan over the coming months and years.  Put some timelines in too – with dates when you will achieve each part of the plan.   If you are a visual person, why not create a board with pictures of what your future will look like once change has taken place.  Look at it every day to encourage yourself to keep moving forward.   It might also be a good idea to chat through your ideas with a friend, or business mentor.  Someone with whom you can share the plan and give you guidance on areas where you may see a blockage, but they see more of helicopter view of where you are trying to head and the changes you need to make to get there.   Of course there will be moments, minutes, hours, days or even weeks when you will be tempted to go back to the beginning and start again.  However go back through your original “Change Plan” and remember why you decided that change was for you.