Costa Women Blogs

I am hearing so many women in business talking about overload these days. Husbands/partners shutting themselves away with their laptops to do busywork whilst the women are burdened with home schooling, shopping, feeding everyone 24/7, keeping on top of housework AND trying to run their businesses or careers from home.  In a 2017 article for Harvard Business Review, Aviva Wittenberg-Cox wrote: “Professionally ambitious women really only have two options when it comes to their personal partners — a super-supportive partner or no partner at all. Anything in between ends up being a morale- and career-sapping morass.” But what if you’ve already made your pick and, under the pressures of the pandemic, he has withdrawn support to focus on ‘his work’, whilst you struggle on largely alone with housework & children? What if you thought you’d signed up for a marriage of equals, only to find that the equality was conditional on your partner’s career not being disturbed by your success?  It seems that, while women often describe their husbands as ‘supportive’, that support doesn’t usually extend to those husbands altering their own work schedule or increasing their share of the domestic workload. They tell their wives “You can do whatever you want to do.” But then do very little to enable their wives to reach their full potential in their businesses or careers. And the challenges of this pandemic have widened the cracks in the facade of equality. The pressures on working women have become intolerable. And what’s more, many employers are penalising women for being forced to work from home. There have been complaints about background noise during Zoom meetings, and some women have even been fired as a consequence.  A man seen to be juggling domestic responsibilities is a hero. A woman, apparently, is expected to work as though she has none. Things have to change. Women need to negotiate assertively with their life partners for a more equitable allocation of household tasks. We must learn to ask for what we need – without feeling we’re failing – and shift some of the emotional & mental burden onto the shoulders of the men we share our lives with. We need them to stop ‘helping’ and to start being fully responsible for their share. It’s their home too, their children, their mess, their laundry etc.  So, if you want your partner to step up, make time for a conversation. Be specific about what he needs to do. Be clear that he must accept full responsibility and not expect to be reminded or policed. Don’t volunteer to do the nagging. Remind him: Happy wife, happy life.   

How to get married in Spain Did you know that legally, there is only one type of marriage in Spain? All marriages must be legally contracted and registered in the Civil Registry. This means that regardless of its form of celebration, religious or otherwise, there are actually two parts to your special day – your marriage and your wedding, and that my friends is where the fun can begin! What is the difference between a marriage and a wedding? Simply put, marriage is the legal contract between a couple. It consists of a bare minimum of words (in the UK this is as little as 40 words!) plus your names and a witnessed entry to an official register. The wedding is the ceremonial celebration – that’s it! “Legalmente, sólo existe un tipo de matrimonio: el civil. De manera independiente a su forma de celebración, para el pleno reconocimiento del mismo es necesaria su inscripción en el Registro Civil.” Why separate your marriage from your wedding? If you “get married in church” in Spain, you still have to register your marriage with the Civil Registry. So even though you may have a religious wedding ceremony, until your minister can register your marriage, you are not actually married! When you understand that the marriage and the wedding are two different things you can begin to appreciate the situation here in Spain but this can be a huge positive and widen your options enormously! You do not have to have your marriage and your wedding at the same time You can have your marriage and your wedding on two different days You can have your wedding celebration before you contract your marriage You can have your wedding celebration after you contract your marriage You can contract your legal marriage without any wedding ceremony What is a “destination wedding”? This separation of “marriage” and “wedding” is also the case in the majority of countries around the world too. This makes is super-easy for couples to legally contract their marriage in their home country, then travel to Spain for a wedding ceremony in the Spanish sunshine. A destination wedding can include as much or as little of the traditional wording as you like, with personalised elements, rituals and readings throughout, to create a unique ceremony officiated by a “maestro de ceremonia”, celebrant or wedding officiant. Can I get legally married in Spain? So here’s the thing, you need Spanish nationality to legally contract your marriage in Spain. Residency in Spain is not enough, you need to either be a Spanish national, to have been granted Spanish nationality or be marrying a Spanish national. You can legally contract your marriage before a judge, a mayor or a designated official. Documentation required to get married in Spain What other options are there to getting married in Spain? If you do not have Spanish nationality or are not marrying a Spaniard and cannot return to your home country to contract your marriage, you might consider the register office at the British Overseas Territory of Gibraltar as an alternative on the doorstep of the Costa del Sol – read How to Get Married in Gibraltar Another popular option, that recognises the legitimacy of your relationship with regard to your legal standing (always take advice depending on your circumstances!) is the Spanish version of a Civil Partnership, namely “Pareja de Hecho” which is much simpler to achieve with local information available at your “ayuntamiento” or council office. Whatever you choose, don’t forget the wedding celebration! And contact me soon to save your date!   Author biography: Debbie Skyrme is an award winning celebrant officiating bilingual elopements, vow renewals and wedding ceremonies across southern Spain. Debbie is a well-known wedding blogger for some of the top bridal publications, she has a legally registered Spanish business, is a former UK registrar and has lived full-time in Spain for over a decade where she can also be found gigging with her band along the Costa Tropical. Visit Debbie’s web site Follow Debbie on Facebook Follow Debbie on Instagram  

At Costa Women, we have 33 different groups throughout Spain, the Canaries, Gibraltar and Andorra. There are over 127 different nationalities within our membership. Costa Women is a mix of Social and Business – but always plenty of fun and networking.   To get to know our business ladies a little better, we created a Fun Friday post to get some quirky and random answers as to what makes them tick, what helps their business or what makes them smile.   There are currently 700 members of this particular group, and each week I have tagged some members to ask them to fill in the blank…   The first post to start the month off was “Today I am going to be —————— and this will impact my business by…”   Around 45% of responses were totally business based from “thinking outside the box”, being creative, organising or hosting events, to testing out business apps. The remaining 55% majority all opted for doing something personal and enjoy their time. Everyone felt that by doing what they said, it would all have a positive impact on their businesses for different reasons which included starting new businesses or new networking/social media activities but all were for the benefit of clients to be able to interact more in person and for them to be available for their clients online. Sometimes, it´s not how hard you work that brings you success, it can also be how hard you play!   “I work very hard, and I play very hard. I’m grateful for life. And I live it – I believe life loves the lover of it. I live it.” – Maya Angelou   Enjoy time with your special friends!   The second post, surprisingly had no response whatsoever. The question was “——————– is on my bucket list and my business will help me achieve it by —————”   Could there have been no response because everyone seems to have a bucket list, but how many of the items on the list are realistic or have been achieved? Maybe we should create a different type of bucket list! What do you think?     For the third week of the Fun Friday Posts, my question was “My favourite stress reducing activity is ——————-”   This had a good response. I think we know how to de-stress here at Costa Women. The answers can help us all I am sure. Some things we can all do, or some things might be new to you, so give it a try. We are so lucky here that all these activities are all so easily accessible to us – there are so many beautiful places near-by to visit for the day, as holidays or as mini breaks to cities, mountains, country side and beach resorts. A fantastic way to disconnect and re-charge the batteries.   The physical activities included walking, hiking or running along the beach or up the mountains, or just enjoying nature, the views, the sights and smells, watching the sunset and reflecting on the day or watching the sunrise and embracing the day ahead. Swimming, gardening, pilates, yoga, horse riding and some other physical activities that I might not be allowed to mention here!!!! For the next week, I asked “If I could pick up a new skill in an instant it would be…”   The response was good and most people came back with variations of the same – and that was to learn languages. This was closely followed by learning patience as a new skill…..Could these be related??? Other positive responses were to make a list of skills to learn and tackle them due to personal and physical self improvement motivations to then in turn, use these skills to help others. An excellent goal.     Lastly, as July is a 5-week month, the final question was “Name one thing or person that has made you smile recently”   All the answers to this made me smile too. The main answers were children and loved ones. We should never take these special moments for granted. Whether it is complete strangers or family, they are all special. We also had two quite unique moments that made people smile or laugh – from a news clip regarding facial masks (I´m not sure the presenter meant it to be funny) to 10 wild turkeys running around someone´s yard (this is from one of our members waiting to move to Spain). That must have been a funny sight!   “How would you have responded to my questions? If you are a woman in business in Spain, or thinking about launching a new business, come and join us at Costa Women Business Group on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/CostaWomenBusinessBreakfast and Costa Women Entrepreneurs on Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/groups/4044148/ “ Thank you!

  Each day our worldwide organisations and leaders are changing the narrative of the Corona Virus Story… in particular about the effectiveness of wearing masks, social distancing, travelling and quarantine. AND each day Humanity becomes more and more confused and divided as people point the finger and blame another for their safety and wellness.   You can read more details of my musings and findings in my post The Truth about Corona Virus.   Over the millennia we have forgotten our sovereign birthright to be free and magnificently powerful, which has led us to become lazy and conform, giving our responsibility and power away to our leaders and systems. Since the issue of our birth certificate we have continued to consent to our loss of freedom!   This has led our governments and institutions worldwide to increasingly exaggerate the use of fear and the belief in lack, turning us all into commodities that ensures their richness and supreme power!   It is the fear of suffering and death and our lack of freedom, which is making us feel unsafe and unwell. AND instead of taking responsibility for this whole situation… because there can be no grievance done without consent! We point the finger and blame another. Continuing this charade!   Today all around the world our society is living proof of the tyranny being played out by Team Dark. They are using the narrative of the Corona Virus to make one last attempt to control and depopulize Humanity and secure their own future timeline.   This post is to remind us all of our Sovereignty, of how everyone is born in complete freedom and has supreme authentic power and authority over ourself and our own life.   Remembering our Sovereignty allows us each to embrace the love, spirit or god light consciousness we are within and be responsible for all our thoughts, words and deeds, honouring all.   Acting as the sovereign and magnificent beings we are all born as, ensures our whole being vibrates in a high frequency of light which quite naturally keeps the Body/Mind optimally safe and well.   Knowing all this we can allow ourselves now to stand up, be counted and declare our Sovereign Human rights, which our ancestors before us fought so passionately to legislate.     Freedom to Express…   We can see how our freedom of expression, freedom to discern and debate is being deliberately taken away, as corporations who own social media are censoring our videos and writings. Many platforms continue to be taken down, in the name of false information spread by conspiracy theorists!   This act of censorship goes against our First Amendment of the US Constitution, the European Convention Article and the United Nations Article on the freedom of expression…   Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.   Everyone has the right to freedom of expression. This right shall include freedom to hold opinions and to receive and impart information and ideas without interference by public authority and regardless of frontiers.   Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.   Surely it is up to each one of us to discern all information available for ourselves? To have a healthy debate amongst each other and be able to take intelligent action? When this censorship began to happen, I asked myself why are Team Dark afraid of this information? There must be some truth in these conspiracy stories!   This brought me to look at the Nuremberg principles that were made after the 2nd world war for the atrocities that happened in Nuremberg by our leaders in power, and I wonder too if we can live up to them now or live at all if we fail to sense the truth of how our leaders seem to be playing along with Team Dark to annihilate Humanity.     The Nuremberg Principles…   Principle IAny person who commits an act which constitutes a crime under international law is responsible therefor and liable to punishment.   Principle IIThe fact that internal law does not impose a penalty for an act which constitutes a crime under international law does not relieve the person who committed the act from responsibility under international law.   Principle IIIThe fact that a person who committed an act which constitutes a crime under international law acted as Head of State or responsible Government official does not relieve him from responsibility under international law.   Principle IVThe fact that a person acted pursuant to order of his Government or of a superior does not relieve him from responsibility under international law, provided a moral choice was in fact possible to him.   Principle VAny person charged with a crime under international law has the right to a fair trial on the facts and law.   Principle VIThe crimes hereinafter set out are punishable as crimes under international law: (a) Crimes against peace:(i) Planning, preparation, initiation or waging of a war of aggression or a war in violation of international treaties, agreements or assurances;(ii) Participation in a common plan or conspiracy for the accomplishment of any of the acts mentioned under (i).(b) War crimes:Violations of the laws or customs of war which include, but are not limited to, murder, illtreatment or deportation to slave-labour or for any other purpose of civilian population of or in occupied territory, murder or ill- treatment of prisoners of war, of persons on the seas, killing of hostages, plunder of public or private property, wanton destruction of cities, towns, or villages, or devastation not justified by military necessity.(c) Crimes against humanity:Murder, extermination, enslavement, deportation and other inhuman acts done against any civilian population, or persecutions on political, racial or religious grounds, when such acts are done or such persecutions are carried on in execution of or in connection with any crime against peace or any war crime.   Principle VIIComplicity in the commission of a crime against peace, a war crime, or a crime against humanity as set forth in Principle VI is a crime under international law.     It is our Freedom to Choose…   We are, for sure being taken advantage of, being led down a very dark path and if each doesn’t stand up for our sovereignty and freedom we cannot blame anyone but ourselves.   I know IAM birthing a new beautiful experience of harmony from within and this end game won’t affect me. It’s because I sensed the game a long time ago and stepped out of it to focus on being me, my magnificent self!   Even in this late stage, it’s not too late for you to do the same!   ©Barbara Franken… Creative Visionary & MasterCreatorInspiring New Energy Consciousness     A paperback and Digital Book is available from all Major online stores… Amazon and Apple   I share my own magical journey, exploring Who I AM with the help of nine Elemental Beings and expand from a world of fear, struggle and limitation into a New Energy Consciousness of love, grace and freedom. It is in this loving space that I discover my Divine and ALL LOVING self and allow myself to integrate together as one Body Consciousness… a DivineHumanBeing… and Magnificent Master Creator who expresses and creates heart and soul passion on the physical plane and beyond. Join our MasterCreator Class and emerge yourself in the celebration of life through dance, song, art, relaxed inner journeys and beyond everything known… preparing yourself for your NEW role on New Earth.   There is no time like the present moment to Sign Up and give YOURSELF this magnificent gift… More Info: MasterCreator Class     All the money raised from my books and classes go to my non-profit association The Magnificent Consciousness that holds free local projects in Benalmadena, Spain.

How do I get on track with managing my business in this pandemic?   Even if you’ve had a few bad months and predict you’re looking at another slow one, budgeting can help you ready your business for the future.   Save money. Cutting expenses on non-essentials and preserving your money helps you build in the flexibility to adapt to change. You need to know which costs to cut and the basic costs that must be covered to keep going. Even if you are thriving now, it’s wise to save for a rainy day rather than reinvesting everything.   Think & Plan Ahead. Scenario planning can help: plot the best, medium & worst case scenarios going forward, so you can read the signs of an uptick or downturn early and quickly respond What does the cash forecast look like for each one?   Make contingency plans including switching into alternative income streams and drawing on all your skills to support your core business. For example, a friend who owns a beauty business switched back into personal training classes whilst her salon was closed. Another friend moved all her exercise classes online during lockdown and has remained online in order to manage a holiday letting business in parallel. She can Zoom her classes from any location with WiFi.   Stay on your toes – speed of response & agility are essential in a crisis.  

SUPPORT GROUP FOR BRITISH CITIZENS IN NEED – TIE-CARDS – NEW MEASURES IN NEW NORMALITY Mijas Foreigners Department have out together information for British citizens who already got a green residency and who like to exchange it into the new TIE-card which is quite easy to do.   Right click the image to Download as PDF       If you need help obtaining your T.I.E. or residency, please check this earlier blog with information – Update for UK Nationals from the British Embassy