On Mindfulness

My life is full of tasks, obligations, duties, responsibilities and chores. They are consequence of the times and culture I live in. They are necessary to make me functional in the society. There are also tasks I do because I want to improve and develop. I go to courses, learn new skills and create projects and lists to fulfill. I believe that if I learn one more skill, if I fulfill one more duty or expectation I will feel valuable and worthy, and I will be able to finally stop proving myself. Do I really need to justify my value by fulfilling all these tasks? Could I be precious and dear simply because I am, I exist? How much do I need to do and achieve to feel self-confident and expensive? Where did I get this idea that I have to prove my value? It didn’t come from me. I was taught it; it came from the critical mind, from the judgmental, thinking mind. I do not claim that learning and developing is unnecessary. Sometimes I am simply tired of this never-ending list of tasks. Sometimes I want to stop this rush; allow myself to be imperfect, full of errors and flaws, and still feel valuable, precious and important.

I have found a safe space where I can meet these feelings: in meditation. And if I ever suggest and encourage you to learn meditation I don’t want to press another task on you. The need for it has to come out from you, has to grow inside you without being another obligation, has to  appear as a part of your nature.