On Mindfulness

-“I feel lonely”- said a person to me.

It surprised me and I thought: “But you have a husband and children, family and friends, you have a dog, a house and a good work; you are not lonely.” But I didn’t say that. I hold my tongue and I hold a moment silence to find proper words one should say in such a moment; not the words we usually and automatically say. The person knows that she is not lonely, nevertheless the feeling of loneliness has overpowered her and she was honest and brave enough to say that.

So what to do when in spite of the rational truth and logic of the mind the feeling that appears and is experienced now happens to be loneliness or any other “irrational” emotion?

Instead of silencing it let’s do something different, let’s turn towards it, accept it and listen to it.

How?

A feeling is not an intellectual thought, it is felt physically, sensually; it appears in the body. It moves the guts, it puts sweat on our forehead; it clogs the throat. It may be difficult and it may be uncomfortable. Nevertheless we should trace it, follow it, and allow ourselves to experience it. It communicates through the body and ignores the mind. It craves for our acceptance and presence; it shrinks from clever comments or ready answers. It waits to be loved unconditionally. It needs our attention and presence. It is not difficult to give it to it. It is just a bit unusual and takes some practice and training: training of meditation.