Your Ideal Man (Woman). How to Get Him (Her)!

Your ideal man (or woman): How to get him (or her)!


Whether you’re fed up of always attracting the wrong kind of person, of being on your own, or if you want take your current relationship to the next level, read on to find out how just how to do it.


Since the film The Secret, many people have started using the Law of Attraction to improve their lives and finances, but have you thought of applying it to your love life?


If you haven’t yet come across the Law of Attraction, it basically says that you will attract whatever you resonate with. For example if you’re scared of dogs, the dogs pick up the scent of your fear and are automatically attracted to you. And it’s just the same for us humans, even though we may not be aware of it consciously; we are constantly picking up and ‘reading’ the vibration of the people around us.


The Law of Attraction is at work all the time, so why not use it to attract your ideal partner into your life.


To begin with you need to know what you are resonating with now.


And the best way to find that out is by seeing what you are currently attracting in your life. If you are not getting what you want or are behaving in ways that are simply not conducive to your happiness (like going for the wrong kind of guy/gal every time!) then it is time to get to work on changing your vibration!


What makes up your vibration?


All your past experiences, those of your family, the people around you and even the dictates of society impact your vibration. These experiences can leave you with unresolved emotions: hurt, sadness, disappointment, anger, low self esteem… In turn, these experiences may have led you to form negative or limiting beliefs. Many of these were formed when you were just a child and you may be totally unaware of them, others you will have picked up along the way.


So, when it comes to relationships what are you resonating with?


Do you remember this interchange from the film Sleepless in Seattle?


 “A lot of desperate women are looking for love.

Especially over a certain age.

It’s easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to get married over 40.

That statistic is not true.

That’s right, it’s not true. But it feels true.”


Does it feel true for you? If so, you have identified one of your limiting beliefs!


Make a list of your limiting beliefs. If you don’t know where to start and just can’t think of any, then ask yourself what your parents used to say about relationships, about men and women, about love; what the people around you used to say; what society says. Then on a scale of 0 to 10 ask yourself how much do I believe that? Just let the number pop into your head as this will be the true answer as supplied by your unconscious mind. We may consciously know the belief is not true, as in the example above, but because it feels true to us it influences how we see the world and the way we act.


It’s as if we use our beliefs to filter how we see the world and what we see. The job of our brain is to prove us right by showing us only what we believe. And in effect we just don’t attract or even ‘see’ the eligible mates around us or alternatively we may simply act in a way that sends them running in the opposite direction.


Once you have your list of negative or limiting beliefs, how do you go about changing them?  For me, EFT is the ideal tool for changing your limiting beliefs as you can easily do it yourself. Simply tap on the belief you want to change: ‘even though I believe…’ After a round check again to see how much you believe it now and repeat the process as often as required until the belief just disappears. If you’re new to EFT or tapping click here for information on how to get started 


You can work on any past experiences that are still unresolved in just the same way.


And if you are already in a relationship, remember that it only takes one to change for the whole relationship to change.


It works! I can vouch for that personally. Once you let go of those limiting beliefs, the unresolved experiences and the negative emotions, you change and your whole life changes to reflect that. And then, as if by magic, your ideal partner just appears in your life 🙂


Sometimes the beliefs or experiences may be too deeply buried in your unconscious mind for you to access, or too painful for you to handle on you own; if so please seek help from your therapist.


If you would like help in attracting your ideal mate or transforming your relationship my ‘Attract Your Ideal Mate’ workshop is this Sunday, 11 March in Marbella. Click here for details


PS The 3 images in the blog are the ones I put on my vision board. David treated me to candlelit dinners lovingly prepared by him, we walked hand in hand on the beaches of Tarifa and he’s a brilliant dancer!