Costa Women Blogs

Once again Dave and Mitch Bull are off on another adventure raising awareness and funds for charity.   Last year the father and son team headed off on a mammoth 6500km journey around the perimeter of Spain and in 2015 they rowed two kayaks 52km down the River Segura from Murcia to Guardamar on the coast with support from Costa Women. The 24th of October will see two riders leaving Gibraltar and attempting to ride the 800km along the coast to their homes near Alicante on the Costa Blanca. Father and son, Dave and Mitch Bull will be camping at night and hope to complete the journey in less than two weeks meaning they need to cycle about 75km on average per day, and along the southern coast of Spain that means a good few hills to climb!   The pair are no strangers to adventure having kayaked 52km down the Rio Segura in November 2015 and last year saw them riding motorbikes around the perimeter of Spain for their chosen charities; the Samaritans in Spain and Spanish cancer research (AECC). Why those charities? Well Dave is the patron of the Samaritans here in Spain and Mitch has seen a close family member lose their life recently to cancer of which he says, “I think cancer has touched most families at some point and I wanted to try and help sufferers and their families in some way.”   The two of them will call into the charities offices in Playa Flamenca (Pink Ladies) and Punta Prima (Samaritans) when they finally arrive in the area at the start if November.   Again they are being well supported by local businesses both on the Costa Blanca and the Costa del Sol who include; Costa Women, Cooking for Languages, Gran Alacant Services, Coys rents a car, Hamiltons Bakehouse, Club Cars and Studio Nemo. Dave also added that he’d like to thank the support of local press, especially The Leader, for their annual contribution to the cause by  helping to publicise and therefore raise funds for the two charities.   The route From Gibraltar the two riders will hug the coast passing trough Estepona, Marbella and Fuengirola and then on to Malaga. From their they’ll pass through Nerja, Motril, Almeria and San Jose where they will turn a sharp left and start heading north via Mojacar, Mazarron, Cartagena and Torrevieja. Its from Torrevieja they’ll leave for the last leg of the trip to Alicante and the guys welcome anyone who wants to join them for all or part of the ride. They are also welcoming Michael from Marbella when they pass through and he will ride with them for the morning after seeing their story and asking if he could go with them part of the way. Dave added that if anyone else wants to join them for a part of the ride (it could be as little as an hour or as long as a morning or afternoon) then they would be very welcome.  The bikes they’ll be riding are hybrid models with 29″ wheels (for the cyclists among you) and they’ll be lakes with around 25kg each of equipment including tents, sleeping bags, cooking equipment, medical kit, devices such as phones, cameras and battery chargers. They hope to have a little room left for some clothes too!   You can follow them on their journey with regular update in The Leader and on their Facebook page, ‘The Long Ride Home‘ where you’ll find links to the charities for donations. Dave also added that a good number of bars and businesses in Gran Alacant also have sponsor forms and collection fine for those wishing to donate that way, again check the Facebook page for a list of which ones are supporting them.   Well have more on their story before they go and updates while they are on the road. They’ll also, as they did last year, add some video blogs to their Facebook page so keep an eye out for those at the end of each day as they summarise their adventure. Donation Links:AECC https://www.aecc.es/colabora/Particulares/Contuaportacion/Donaciononline/Paginas/OpcionesDonacion.aspx?ref=99&fin=451 SAMARITANS IN SPAIN http://www.samaritansinspain.com/donations.html   And follow their journey in The Long Ride Home here

As I prepare myself and my son to go back to school, I am making sure that his eyes have been tested and he’s had a checkup at the dentist so I know everything is looking good before the routine starts again.  My client Specsavers Opticas recently released some information about kids’ eye health which I felt was timely and wanted to share here as I think it’s crucial for all us Mums to know – One of the world’s leading opticians, Specsavers, has noticed a worrying trend in increasing eye problems, particularly myopia (short-sightedness), in children and are advising parents to limit screen time, make sure that kids get plenty of time outside and that they have regular eye tests from the age of three. Saher Shrief, Store Director from Specsavers Opticas Torrevieja stated; “We are now seeing more and more children coming into our store with visual problems, as they are watching more TV, and using more digital devices than they have in the past.” This is a trend which is being reported by other optical experts around the world. According to the Singapore National Eye Centre (SNEC) excessive use of mobile devices can cause problems like myopia and amblyopia in young children. Maria Liu from UC Berkeley’s School of Optometry, has also seen a sharp increase in young children with myopia (short-sightedness). “It’s increasing at an alarming rate worldwide and a well-accepted contributing factor is the early introduction of handheld devices to kids.”  Overuse of computers and handheld electronic devises can cause digital eye strain and expose children to too much harmful blue light, which might increase a child’s risk of macular degeneration later in life. Saher Shrief from Specsavers explains why it is so important to protect our children’s eyes. “Good eye sight is crucial for children, as during the first 12 years of our lives, as much as 80% of learning is accomplished through our vision, yet one out of every four children has an undetected vision problem that may inhibit their progress. Experts believe that many learning disabilities could be vision related as they may not be able to read the blackboard or text books. Parents need to take an active role in protecting their children’s eye health by ensuring they have regular eye tests and following experts’ advice. We would advise parents to look out for the following symptoms that might indicate they need their eyes checking: complaining of headaches sensitivity to light straining their eyes constantly sitting too close to the TV saying their eyes are hurting”  Specsavers Opticas suggest that a child should have their first eye examination at around three years old, as the earlier things are detected, the easier they are to rectify without delaying the child’s development. This September they are advising all parents to incorporate a thorough eye test into their back to school routine. Visit www.specsavers.es to find your nearest store.  

Embrace Your Power It’s time to go back to school. This can mean something different for every individual.  For some teenagers, this is an exciting time to re-connect with those friends whom they have not seen all summer. For others, returning to school comes with the reminders of peer pressure, worries about acceptance, fears about bullying,  concerns about performance and grades, and stress about how they are going to cope. There are many things you can do as a parent or teacher, to help prepare your teenagers for a positive new year.  Coaching teenagers on how to embrace their power is one way that you can set them up with a good foundation. What does embracing your power mean?Essentially, embracing your power means learning to like, love, accept and believe in yourself, it means honoring your truth and values, standing up for what you believe in, and setting strong boundaries. Achieving this requires mind mastery skills and self- love. Coach Your Teen to Develop Mind Mastery Skills:When your teenager is feeling stressed, anxious, and afraid or worried, you can help them to embrace their power by coaching them on managing their mind. Often it is not the situation that causes feelings of stress, worry and anxiety, but what we tell ourselves about what is or might happen. By identifying thoughts and beliefs, it is possible to work through them to create a story in which your teenager develops into managing the situation, and creating supportive thoughts to help them cope. You can try a series of questions to help you and your teenager to identify thoughts and beliefs that may be causing them to feel stressed or anxious, and guide them in finding empowering solutions.  What are you telling yourself about this situation? What do you believe is going to happen? What is the worst case scenario? How could we deal with this if this happened? Is this likely to happen? What is the best possible outcome? What would you like to happen? What can you tell yourself to help manage this situation? How can I help you? What are you going to do? How will I know how you are managing this? What can I do to support you? Coach your Teen to Love Themselves More: When your teenager is concerned about peer pressure, being accepted, or worried about being bullied, you can help them to cope by developing the love they have for themselves. This means that your teen knows they are the only one who judges them, they are the one who decides they are an acceptable and like-able and love-able person, that they stand up for their values, and they are the one who decides to believe in who they are, no matter what.  You can help your teen to grow love by:  Reminding them where they are confident Telling them and showing them how much you love them and what you love about them Providing emotional support Doing things together that bring happiness You can empower your teen to love themselves more by suggesting that  when other people may pressure them into trying drugs, sex or alcohol,  that they have a choice. Teenagers often feel out control, with parents and teachers and school rules making demands of them constantly. It is important that they own their choice and take responsibility for their choices, and make choices based on being caring about themselves. Give them information on each of these topics and educate them on the what can happen if they get an STI, and what even one experiment with marijuana can do a child with certain genetics: it is possible, according to psychiatrists, that marijuana use increases the risk of schizophrenia. (Learn about this here: http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/06/390143641/pot-can-trigger-psychotic-symptoms-for-some-but-do-the-effects-last)  Talk with your teenager about what is the most important thing to them: their health and well-being, or what other people think about them.   You cannot stop your child from experimenting, but you can educate them to make loving choices. (Drug and Alcohol Resource www.drugabuse.gov/sites/default/files/teens_brochure_2013.pdfSexually Transmitted Infections resource: www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-teens.htm) Ask your teen what he/she likes and loves about themselves; sometimes we all need a reminder, and keeping this information fresh in mind helps provide a barrier against the spiteful and negative words of others. Teach your teen that when other people do or say things, your child can hold onto their power by deciding their truth about who they are is more accurate than any judgement made by another, for the simple reason that other students do not and cannot know your child/teenager as much as they do. When you and your teenager hold the voice of acceptance and love and self-belief, this provides a powerful shield of defense from bullies. Teach your teenager about their mental filter. You can do this by demonstrating the gap between your words and their ears. Ask them to  imagine placing an imaginary filter or shield in this gap. Then, as your words come towards them, they can decide to let them bounce of the shield/filter, because they are negative, cruel and unkind, or let them in, because they are positive, kind and loving. Other people can say negative things, but we have the power to choose if we accept their truth or let it go. If your child is being physically hurt, they need to know that violence is never acceptable. They may be afraid to speak, in case the situation gets worse; this is a common fear.  Self-esteem can be maintained if they and you do everything you can to stand up to this bully. Get the school involved and talk to the parents of the bully. The school should have a bully prevention policy. Ask to see it. A general policy may suggest that after a warning, detention and suspension, the bully should be expelled.  It an extreme situation you may choose to move schools, because you have the freedom to make choices in any situation and no one can take that away. Remember, the Dalai Lama fled occupied Tibet to save his life and continue to support his people from safety in exile. From what I can see, I do not think he lost his power: his love is strong.We may not always get the outcome we want, but if a child is supported to always maintain their self-esteem, and their power, to know their options and make their choices, with your blessing and support, they will feel this support and it will carry them through the challenges in life.  If you do change schools, it can be helpful to arrange self-esteem coaching or counselling for your teenager, to help them prepare for embracing a new school from a positive and courageous state. Best case scenario, the school does supports you, the bully is managed, and your teenager recognizes that you and the school and life are on their side, and they grow in confidence as a result of seeking help and learning that they do not have to cope alone, help is out there, and things can change for the better. It is an act of strength and an act of love to ask for help and support. If you or your teenager would like empowered support on managing any of the issues raised here, I reserve coaching for teenagers from 16.30-18.30, to avoid missing school. Sessions available at Ocean Clinic (Gibraltar) on Wednesday’s and Atlantic Clinic (Nueva Andalucia) on Thursday’s and Friday’s.  Skype sessions available for adults. Complementary discovery sessions are offered to parents wishing explore whether coaching with me is the right approach for their son/daughter for the presenting circumstances.   Written by Antonia Behan antonia@antoniabehan.com www.antoniabehan.com 

Enjoy Living Abroad is her brand and Karen does what it says on the tin! Meet Karen McCann, one of our costawomen.com living between Sevilla and Ohio. Karen started a blog to share her stories with friends and family back home which has now progressed into the “steady heartbeat of her writing”. Karen shares with Fiona Catchpowle how she has managed the red tape of moving to Spain and also tips if you are thinking of moving and also her experience of packing!     Follow Karen on her website: http://www.enjoylivingabroad.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/enjoylivingabroad/Twitter: http://twitter.com/EnjoyLvngAbroadAnd find out more about Costa Women at https://costawomen.com/help/contact  

“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” sings Bono and we hum it agreeing with him. We haven’t found it either. Maybe we have been searching in wrong places. “That what you are looking for is where you are looking from”* explained a wise man already 800 years ago. He advised us to change direction of our investigation. Instead of pursuing our happiness out there, we could find it in here. It sounds so obvious and simple; but do we know how to do it and where “in here” is? Let’s take it literally. Let’s move our attention closer and closer to ourselves; so close that there is no space for judgment, for the past or the future and neither for thoughts and stories. So close that what we notice and observe are just feelings and sensations in the body: the physical experience of the reality just here and now. This attitude is also called mindfulness, and the best way of training it is meditation. It helps to change the direction towards “in here” and to find that what we are looking for. *Words of St Francis of Assisi is a favourite quotation of my teacher GPWalsh-the founder of Master Heart Institute

Watermusic   A flame of surprise kindled in my heart by music, music , all night as I lie Chopin in the wilderness Dreamscapes before my eyes Building crescendos Diminuendos Surprise, don`t ask too many whys Crashing chords Splurge consciousness Through waves of paint, silver noise watercolour on my page watermusic in my head The stately procession of stanzas Leads neaer to passion. Hopes outlive hopes.   And I sit here making verse Looking for self and roots in homelands As all of us do sometimes. No regrets. I pick up the scattered bits.