It’s February and with Valentine’s Day just around the corner – love is in the air. But is it possible to live happily ever after, or is that just a fairy tale? For me the answer is a very definite yes – it is possible!
Valentine’s Day has a special meaning for me as my very own love story started three year’s ago at a Valentine’s Day party when a beautiful red heart just fell off the wall right into my hands! A couple of days earlier I had asked my Romance Angel to give me a clear sign so I would recognise my ideal mate when I met him. When the heart fell into my hands I smiled – I knew this was the sign I had asked for. And, as they say, the rest is history and David and I have been living together happily ever since 🙂
But depending on where you are in your life’s journey, Valentine’s Day can conjure up very different feelings. If you have someone new in your life it can be a magical day as you eagerly anticipate the possibility of romance. If you are in a loving relationship it can be a wonderful time to celebrate. And if you are in long term relationship it can be a great opportunity to reaffirm or rediscover your love for each other.
While for those happily flying solo and delighted to be free from the restraints that a relationship can sometimes bring, Valentine’s Day may be just another day. But for anyone who has just broken up with a partner it can bring back painful memories and emotions. And for anyone who is still searching for their ideal mate it can be a very lonely time, as you wistfully survey all the loving couples that surround you.
So what’s the secret to living happily ever after?
The most important thing is to understand that a fulfilling relationship does not happen overnight (except for a few truly blessed beings that discover real love at first sight) but rather that it’s a long, but rewarding journey of self discovery.
But where to start?
A very common complaint in a relationship (and one I hear a lot) is ‘he/she doesn’t understand me’ to which I invariably reply ‘well of course not, why would he/she understand you, when you don’t even understand yourself?’
I realised very early on that people are all different. As a child I remember questioning ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ – I just couldn’t see how it could possibly work and I resolved to treat others as they would wish to be treated instead. Many years later I applied it when writing sales training adapting the Golden Rule ‘treat customers as you would wish to be treated’ to ‘treat customers as they would wish to be treated’. (I was really pleased to see that it caught on, becoming referred to years later as The Platinum Rule.)
A good case in point were my friends Bill and Alison – they both loved books, but in very different ways. For Bill, books were sacred objects to be treated as if each were a priceless first edition. Whereas for Alison, it was what was in the books that was important. Her books were dog eared, well thumbed, and had all the important passages highlighted, while the margins were full of her annotations.
I can still remember the look on poor Bill’s face when one of his precious books was returned with coffee stains and a broken spine. It didn’t bode well for their relationship!
So how do we start this journey of self discovery?
There are many different tools available that we can use to help us do just that: whether it’s working with a therapist, meditation and self introspection, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or one of the many personality typing systems available, or better yet a combination of all of the above 🙂
I’ve used them all! Each one has brought me new and rich insights into who I am. And each one has brought me a step closer to finding and enjoying a fulfilling and loving relationship. Because the great thing is that, once you understand yourself, you know what it really important to you and what you want from a relationship and in an ideal mate.
If you would like some help on your journey, David and I would love to share with you what we learned on our respective journeys. Combining our different areas of expertise, we’ve designed a series of workshops that will help you work through all the different aspects of your journey to achieving successful and fulfilling relationships.
There will be an introductory talk on Saturday, 16 February at the Hotel Sultan from 11am to 1pm that provides an overview of the tools and techniques that will then be covered in the workshops in more detail.
These workshops are for you if:
- you’re single and actively looking for your ideal mate
- not actively looking but want to be ready for when you decide to start looking
- already in a relationship but looking to take it to the next level
Although aimed at love relationships the tools and techniques covered in the workshops will apply to all relationships: family, friends, work and most importantly yourself.
See my website for more details http://www.getenergised.com/Workshops.html