Ideally, as a child, we are shown. We are given love and affection, our needs are attended to, we feel ‘safe’, we feel cared for by those who love us. We feel accepted; who we are is okay, even if our behaviors are not always accepted. We learn that we are lovable and so we treat ourselves with kindness, we do what makes us happy, we stand up for ourselves and honour our values. When a child is brought up with positive values and heart-centered ways of living and being, this love is extended to others, in the form of kindness, care, affection, encouragement and respect; when we love, we love. If these qualities have not been taught, they can be learnt. If life has created a mental ‘chip’ full of thoughts and beliefs about not being lovable, or acceptable, and any attempt at self-serving kindness, love and happiness brings only feelings of guilt, this can be healed, and transformed. The secret is simple; making the choice to love. If you want to, you shall. If you want to, with all of your heart, you have already begun. If you want to, with all of your heart and you can feel it, you have already won, now it is just time and practice to cultivate the heart-centered way. Love is choice. It is a hard choice for a child who has not been loved to make, but it is a choice as adults we can make, and then we can give more love to our children. When we love, we love.
1 thought on “What does it mean to love yourself and how do we learn?”
Beautiful words Antonia... a magnificent woman after my own heart of loving self...
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