Costa Women Blogs

In this week's featured member interview we meet Jo Sintes who believes we can all be Ageing Fabulously. Jo has lived in Spain since 1988 and shares some excellent tips if you are finding it hard to fit...

Enjoying the benefits of being sober, meet Isabel van Zuilen who decided that giving up alcohol was for her a smart move.

A new convert to 'Spain' meet Anita Fosen who moved from Malta after searching a more accessible way of living. Read her story and why she is loving life in Mijas.

February is Time Management Month! Do you find yourself juggling projects? Has working remotely changed how you organise your time? Do you often wonder where the day, week, or month has gone? Do you rush from one task to the next without completing either? Are you completely organised and in control? … BlogsRead More »

I love affirmations, don’t you?   Positive affirmations are the language of self-talk designed to reprogram your subconscious and boost your vibrational frequency. It might seem strange to do. However, think about the fact that you probably currently use negative self-talk all the time without noticing. What about – I hate my arms or I’ve had a gutsful. Imagine if after saying that you have had a gutsful, your tummy starts to swell. Well, that’s your unconscious mind obeying your order or negative affirmation. That’s how easy it is.   How many times have you done something and called yourself stupid or looked in the mirror and allowed negative thoughts coming to mind? I know when my spine fractured I found it oh so hard to say anything nice to myself.   Negative self-talk affects your confidence, lowers your vibration, and places the focus of your life on the wrong things.   To change yourself, you can use positive affirmations about any issue you want to change. Using the fracture as an example I started to say I am healed, healthy and happy and my bones are healthy and healed. What a difference that made. Naturally, I did more than just chant affirmations, but these played a powerful part in my healing.   To use positive affirmations to help you bring about change I have these tips. Identify Negative Self-Talk Habits When you start to write what it is that you want, notice what comes up. Before you start using positive affirmations, be more mindful about when and how you’re using negative self-talk. Note these in your journal, very soon you will start to see a pattern which you can then choose to consciously change. Create Positive Affirmations from Negative Self-Talk After you write down those negative things, you might see that there are some that fall into like categories. Note what these categories are and perhaps you can choose a priority and notice what happens when you focus on changing these. For example, if when you are getting ready in the morning, you see yourself in the mirror and say something not so great to yourself – you’ll know that it is in the category of self-esteem. Likewise, when you have those doh moments, these too could fall into the same category, especially if you catch yourself using not so useful, unkind language. You can then create positive affirmations that will raise your self-esteem. “I’m grateful to my body, for everything she does and helping me to be happy, healthy and healed.” Even if you have problems, when you do this, you’ll likely make better choices during the day, and will remember to treat yourself with loving-kindness. When resistance comes up, it is because you need to take note. Write down what you notice about resistance in your journal and explore it and how you feel about it. It works, I am proof. Write Your Affirmations Down Write down your positive affirmations. You could write your affirmations on small slips of paper and put them in a jar and grab one when you need it. Write them on pretty note cards or post-it notes and stick them where you can see them. For example, you can put one of your affirmations on the bathroom mirror, or on your door so you see it as you’re leaving. When I was going through my big healing I would write love me notes on post-its and pop them on the fridge before bed. They worked a treat. I always forgot that I had written them and then smiled in delight in the morning. Say Your Affirmations Aloud When you are saying your affirmations in private, say them aloud. When you say them aloud, not only do you hear the vibration in your voice, you are sending this out to the Universe who is waiting to support you. It’s a good job no one can see me when I am walking the dogs. Not only am I saying them aloud, but I also practise tapping on certain points. Choose To Change Saying positive affirmations is great, but you need to choose to make changes. Writing in your journal will open your mind to what is going on in your life and from there you can make conscious choices. Write down a goal that reflects what you want to change, make the goal SMART, break it down into smaller goals, pick the first one and go for it. Reflect As you practice using positive affirmations you will change. Saying your affirmations combined with good action changes your perceptions and this is what we want to make a note of. When you reflect at the end of the week or month you can join the dots backwards and see how far you have grown and how your life has changed. Questions for your journal What is one thing that you want to change today? What would your positive affirmation be? What will you see when this has become a part of your life? How will you feel when the changes occur? What is your first step? Join me in the journaling club Are you ready to adventure with yourself? Join me in The Journaling Club, where you will get to explore different aspects of yourself each month. You’ll get to know yourself better and know what you want. Bio Dale Darley, AKA The Word Alchemist. Dale is a prolific writer and journaler. She teaches others how to write to heal and then how to heal others through your writing. She has used writing to heal for understanding and healing the effects of childhood trauma, narcissistic relationships and illness. Writing has supported Dale in her journey to love herself and refind her wild

Recently moved to Spain from Finland is Marja. She believes that whilst luck may have landed her here, it’s the type of luck that happens when preparation meets opportunity. Read her story. Why Spain? Spain and southern Europe has been calling my name for years. It has been a dream of mine for so long. There have been times when I almost lost my faith to be able to make it. But since I have learned to believe that things in life do happen for a reason, I trusted that some day I will be living in Spain. So, now I am. Six weeks old newcomer in Spain. In addition to my personal plan, luckily the company I work for wanted to start operations in Costa del Sol and Fuengirola.  We are a small company, out-patient clinic, providing services for people and their families, who struggle with addictions. Helping women is especially close to my heart since I know how hard it is to even to ask for help. I also know that it is possible to recover. That is the message I want to share. Tell us about your new home Fuengirola was the reasonable choice, mostly because of the Finnish society here. The atmosphere here is so energetic and positive. Met already so many brave people who have taken the “frightening” leap to the unknown, business wise or personally. Business friendly, easy to get a round and the weather, of course. Beats Scandinavian winter, for sure. What was the biggest challenge for your move? The biggest challenge was to trust that I can make it here and leave everything what I had in Finland. I am blessed for having good people around me and believing in me and I know that by making this move I do not lose anything but I gain a lot. What is your advice for women thinking about making the move? Go for it. Find out as much as you can about the living here from different sources. If it FEELS right for you, then it most likely IS right for you.  Tell us about your life in Spain? Since I have just recently moved here, my days have been filled with work. Meeting people, networking, organizing events, etc. basically telling people about my purpose here. And of course, I have been able to do the actual counselling. I am still very much involved in the clinic work back in Finland, now mostly remote online. My goal is to reach out to women who feel themselves hopeless and stuck while suffering from addictions (chemical, gambling, food addictions or co-dependency).  Something you are grateful for? I am grateful every day for having recovered from a devastating disease and for being healthy. And of course for this opportunity to share my story here today. Thank You! Your special dinner party – who would you invite? Joanna and Kristin from my other home country, Norway. Joanna had a healing role during my difficult years and unfortunately we meet far to seldom. Kristin for teaching me not to fear ageing. Minna Canth (1844-97) for believing in doing your own thing and knowing in your heart that it is the right thing to do, even when the world says it’s not. Also, I’d invite some young activist to educate me of their view of the world. A good meal with fish would be served. And strawberries with cream! What’s your secret weapon? Accepting the things I cannot change and having courage to change the things I can.  Favourite saying? “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” – Seneca One thing you had to bring with you to Spain? My Journal. Actually, to be quite honest – it is my smart phone.  Favourite Book? Have so many favourite  books! The first ones that came to my mind areThe Napolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante.  The way the friendship is portrayed enthralled me.  Something you would tell your younger self? Trust in life and yourself. Respect yourself first and that way you will be able to respect others.  How can we find out more? Connect on linked https://www.linkedin.com/in/marja-kanu And our website: www.avominne.fi Thank you Marja! If you want us to read your story, fill out the online questionnaire here